Progress Report on the Tamborine Test

January 16, 2019July 13, 2019 / iamsupercarla / Leave a comment

So this is a long overdue progress report. I actually started writing this in June when life became so busy that I never got to post it. So forgive me? Hopefully, this whole writing thing will become more regular in the coming weeks.

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Here’s the breakdown of this challenge. In hopes of driving a healthier flow of conversation between husband and wife, The Husband has agreed to eliminate some clutter in our communication tools and for a week, decided not to text or call during the day. This includes no tagging on Facebook, commenting on Instagram or what not. Just a notification that we’ve each arrived at work and left for the day. That’s it.

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I am so grateful for the life we have. Thank you for all the places you take me to. Discovery is the best when done with you. #carlallan

A post shared by Carla Shmarlaloo (@carlaloo) on Jun 10, 2018 at 3:13pm PDT

And I have to be honest…. we lasted four days. Hahahaha. Halfway through, The Husband came up to me and said literally in my face, “I do not like this challenge because I miss you too much.”

Enter “awwwwww” sounds.

And while we didn’t really complete the challenge, I did notice some changes to our communication pattern.

We don’t text as often anymore. Before the challenge, it was a constant exchange. While we both have very forgiving employers who have been very generous in how we exercise our liberties, I will be the first to admit: it takes me away from work. I’m sure the same goes for him. With the non-texting, I’ve become more productive, less distracted, and more efficient in my workday. It’s a refreshing freeing feeling.
We reserve long conversations at home. We learned to reserve the important conversations for home. This is a very valuable lesson learned for me because it stops me from oversharing with my office mates. I know that there will always be one or two people from the office that end up being part of your ride-or-die crew, but the silence helped me in keeping things to ourselves.
We have better conversations. It’s not just the “what did you have for lunch” questions. It’s having a much better answer for the question “how was your day.” Most of the time, because we talked so much and had very brief pauses, our day looked like it had a sports announcer feature. Almost to every breath, we reported what we did, so when we got home, it was merely a repetition of what we already know. Now, it’s talking about the news we read in the morning, the conversation we had with our coworkers at lunch, providing input for operational efficiency in the office. We are also getting more creative with our questions! So yes, the conversations are much better in quality now.
We find the time to just talk. Not even while eating talk. It’s simply sitting down (or lying in bed) to just talk. No distractions, just us two. When you imagine it, it does seem weird, like coming into an appointment with your spouse to speak. But for us it also highlighted that there are talks that we need to focus on — finances, moving out plans, career mapping. It’s insane how that sounds like a conversation you would have with a life coach, but it’s also refreshing because it reveals you don’t just have a spouse: you have a life partner.

Fine, I do sound preachy and freaking annoying, but the forced offline modes definitely enhanced our conversations, especially in terms of quality. Do I recommend this to couples and more? Absolutely. Does that mean I now shun texting and calling during the day? Absolutely not. I’m just saying we could all use a break from it from time to time.

What about you? Are you interested in trying this out?

TALK TUESDAY: Having an unplugged wedding

March 21, 2017March 21, 2017 / iamsupercarla / Leave a comment

Did I mention that we had an unplugged wedding? At the doors of the church, our coordinators and junior bridesmaids handed out these notice cards to our guests:

When I first pitched the idea to the husband, he was immediately all for it. My mother, not so much. She pointed out that it will be inevitable that people will whip out their phones and tablets and cameras and just take a snapshot of everything. I know what she meant; I myself have a hard time putting my phone down. But I was adamant.

Of course, our wedding is not my first wedding. I have seen so many, and in the recent past, two of which were my close friends’. Both were grand celebrations, and everyone seemed to be present. They had hashtags and everything, so that anything posted on social media about weddings will be publicly curated. I did this too, and it really was great seeing everyone else’s perspective of our special day.

Anyway, the guests were taking photos of everything — flowers, each other, selfies — and then the entourage started walking. It was marvelous. You know you’re about to see something special when each participant is a build up to something better. Then the doors opened. The bride’s silhouette made everyone gasp in awe. It was just like in the story books.

But it completely SUCKED A** for the photographer and videographer. Everyone had their own phones, cameras, Go Pros and what not blocking their line of sight. I swear I even saw a couple of the crew visibly and verbally irritated. Some of them even asked the guests to move out of the way so they can catch that moment, and the guests had the gall to be annoyed that they’re being asked to move!

At that moment, all I could think of was the money the couple paid for the professionals to take pictures and videos of their special day. True, in the end, they made it work, but honestly, not without extreme effort. There was even a wedding I attended that there were so many phone up, the videographer couldn’t see the groom’s face when he first saw the bride. He had to make do by capturing a tablet capturing the groom’s face.

Anna Delores Photography

David Stubbs Photography

It was such a distraction. I felt so bad for the photographers and videographers. It was at that point that I decided that for our wedding, we’ll have everyone turn off their devices, at least during the ceremony. Right off the bat, our coordinator and my mother immediately said this will be difficult to pull off, especially at this day and age where it is just automatic for people to whip out their phones at any god given time. But we made it work. And thanks to completely cooperative guests, everything was pulled off perfectly.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BABFBavsPOz/

Not a single phone or tablet in sight. Our families and guests were amazing. They truly made our day special.

It was almost a special gift to our suppliers. No distractions, no need for body contortions, because the space was open and free for them to take photos and videos of our special day.

I know how important it is to have your own memento of things and events that had happened in your life. I know because I too am an enthusiast of taking photos. You can check out my almost 3,000 photos on Instagram, and even on Snapchat. I take a lot of photos and make sure that they’re properly framed so they’re deserving to be exhibited on my feed. But us, the to-be-married couple, we’re right in front of you. You can see us live and alive, exchanging our vows and very much in the moment. Why would you settle for the small screen?

Our journey as a couple is filled with Facetime, selfies, chats, numerous text messages and email journals even. For once, it was nice to not have those things in the way and just be present. Believe us when we say real life is a million times better.

It did result in fewer public posts in our social media feed, but we didn’t care. I’d like to believe (and as what most of our guests have shared after the festivities) that everyone was moved because everyone paid attention, and listened, and was completely present. Now, that was truly a moment to remember.

The Wedding: Final Part

October 31, 2016October 26, 2016 / iamsupercarla / Leave a comment

I have been ranting over and over about our wedding this past week, and well, please don’t blame me for being overly cheesy. I have waited a long time to talk about this and I have been wanting to talk about this for some time now. Hahaha. Finally, the cat is out of the bag. I can’t even remember why I chose to be mum about it to begin with.

Anyway, I do have a few more tips to shell out, even though they are quite unsolicited. Planning and putting together this wedding was hard and a breeze at the same time; I could not have done it without the village that I had then and now.

We managed to keep to our budget and spent a little under $16,000, including honeymoon expenses. We had 112 guests at the wedding, and they were all fed and taken care of. I’m glad to hear until now that they had a really good time at our wedding. How did we do it?

Our guest list was intimate. At first, it was hard because being Filipino, friends of friends of family of friends are always being suggested as invitees, but Le Mari actually gave a good position: invite the ones you know would be sad for missing your wedding. Don’t invite people who will be sad because they didn’t get an invite. After that, it just became easy. I knew and he knew who we wanted as witnesses to this union, and my inner introvert came out, and the list was the list. It started at 70, so having a list at 120 (8 couldn’t come) is already a stretch.
There were a lot of craft parties. Now, not everyone is up for this. Come to think of it, you also have to compute the cost of raw materials, the food you’ll serve, and the time you and your party will consume. One of the main reasons why we did this is because our family is always meeting up. Our entourage is quite intimate especially the ones coming from the Philippines, so there was never any hesitation to rally and help me out. I am most grateful to them.
Research your suppliers well. I found out about Roxy in my university’s forum, touting her as the next big wedding gown designer. They were right. There are a lot of budding talent looking to break into the wedding industry and they should be given a chance to. Of course, it’s a risk because their inexperience might reflect on their work, but they can also be your biggest surprise. I remember back then my cousin booked Jason Magbanua, and he was the only one doing SDEs. Now she proudly says she’s one of his first customers. You can be a building block to their success.
We didn’t look for miracles. It’s true. We knew what our budget was so we didn’t go for Gideon Hermosa, or Jason Magbanua, or Ian Cruz, or Metrophoto… we knew what we can afford, and we settled. For some, the budget is adjustable. For us, it wasn’t. We knew that we would need the money as we would be starting out with me not having a job and therefore only on single income. What was important was to have a wedding that would be memorable to us and to our friends. And we nailed it.
Patience is a virtue. The thing with budget wedding is having to look high and low for suppliers that meet your criteria and your pocket. So yeah, I am so grateful to my brothers for taking the time to take me anywhere just so I can find the best deals and discounts. My entourage, especially Marga my MOH, went above and beyond what is required. I’m just so grateful for our village really.

It was the perfect party, did you know? I can still replay everything in my head. I can’t even remember feeling so happy and so sad at the same time. Happy to be with the love of my life, and sad because I didn’t get to have my father-daughter dance. But our wedding was phenomenal. It truly was the best welcome to a new life for us both. I couldn’t ask for more.

How was your wedding? Do you have a dream wedding in mind?

The Wedding Part 4

October 30, 2016October 26, 2016 / iamsupercarla / Leave a comment

Not all aspects of our wedding were sourced in the Philippines. There are a lot that was given to us by the gods of Etsy! Hahahaha. Here you go:

Giveaways for the Groom’s Men: Personalized Knives
Rating: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Cost: 💰
Le Mari loved it, seriously. And ultimately regretted not getting one for himself the moment he got it. Hahahaha.

Get yours here.

Giveaways for the Bridesmaids: Monogram Jewelry by House of Monogram PH
Rating: ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Cost: 💰💰
I gave rose gold tinted monogram bracelets for our bridesmaids. It was really nice. This one was not Etsy sourced but they do have a lot of options there.

20161030-monogram-bracelets

Cake Topper: Better Off Wed
Rating: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Cost: 💰
It was exactly as pictured, and we were right to want that instead of the traditional bride-groom figurine. We still have this intact and would make a great mantle piece, when we eventually find that home.

Principal Sponsor Giveaways: Leather Passport Holders and Bag Tags
Rating: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Cost: 💰💰
The Leather Company from the Philippines did a wonderful job making light gray pebbled leather passport holders and bag tags, with monograms of our principal sponsors. The finished product is similar to the one photographed below. They really know how to satisfy their customers, because when I said that I needed it two weeks later, they delivered it at the door of my house. WOW.

We also had our wedding madlibs, and thank you tags all from Etsy. The table numbers, guest names and thank you notes were all made by my beautiful bridal entourage! Thank you bridesmaids! Anyway, do not be afraid to explore that option. For small details like this, Etsy is such a life saver.

The Wedding Part 3

October 29, 2016October 26, 2016 / iamsupercarla / Leave a comment

And so the supplier review continues. While I’m pretty sure most of my readers come from North America, you might want to consider a Philippine wedding. Seriously. When you see the last part of this post, you’ll see just how much we spent and why you should consider the possibility of a destination wedding.

On-The-Day Coordinator: MCC Events by Mayette Cinco
Rating: ❤️❤️❤️
Cost: 💰💰
I had a hard time finding a coordinator mainly because of the date we’ve chosen. Mayette was recommended by my first two choices and with that, I’m pretty sure I made the right decision. And I did. I thought we were doing so well already, until Mayette pointed out the small details that aren’t really so small after all.

For example, she was the one who found my lights, sounds and DJ suppliers. I thought what Blue Leaf had would be fine and an app on the iPad would be enough to surround our event with music. Boy, was I wrong. She really did set me on the right path. I loved meeting her, and she wa super organized. Unfortunately, the team she sent to our wedding was not. It seemed like they didn’t listen to her turnover because I had to reorient them from top to bottom the moment they arrived. Good thing they arrived early.

I actually didn’t notice that there were misses during the wedding. I was just elated. I was pampered and every time a tinge of worry comes across my face, Mayette’s team immediately puts me at ease. But my family gave some unfavorable feedback — like texting during the event while the hosts are asking for assistance, or suddenly missing when the hosts have a question that they can’t ask me — so I had to take down a couple of hearts. Mayette though was still absolute perfection. She had two weddings on that day and she still managed to swing by and check on ours. I am so grateful for her. So make sure you book her right away so you get to have the A Team on your special day.

Bridal Hair and Makeup Artist: Makeup Therapy by Cai Guiang
Rating: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Cost: 💰💰
I met Cai at a friend’s wedding in 2015 and I knew she’s the one. Her hands are light as a feather, I swear I almost fell asleep on my chair. It was just a relaxing experience. I love that she knew right away what to do with my face. Hahahaha. My lack of eyebrows seem to be an inspiration to her. Even Le Mari loved my makeup, to think that he hates makeup. It was natural looking and it lasted all night. Can you believe it?

Top to bottom: Before the wedding in natural light, after the wedding in the chapel, during the reception

Entourage Hair and Makeup Artist: PV Dela Cruz and Kristine Viudez
Rating: ❤️❤️❤️❤️ / ❤️❤️❤️
Cost: 💰💰 / 💰💰
These two are a great tandem. Most of my entourage and some of our guests came from overseas so they didn’t have time to make arrangements for their hair and makeup. So we covered that for them and well, they did amazingly well.

I gravitate towards PV more because she helped me with a special project. More on that later, and believe me, it is an amazing more on that later. HAHAHAHA.

PV’s work:

From Peevee Dela Rosa Makeup Instagram

Kristine’s Work:

From Kristine Viudez Makeup Instagram

Flowers: The Flower Boutique by Menchie Lumbang
Rating: ❤️❤️
Cost: 💰
This one was such a steal because my cousin bridesmaid and I went to Dangwa for it. It truly is the haven for the budget warrior. While I loved the bouquet she gave me and the church decor (truly divine and exactly what I asked for), her team literally went to the venue, dropped everything and that’s it. We were even missing the bridal car flowers. I felt so sad, looking back, because we used my mother’s new car as our bridal car and it would have been a nice photo to have. But because it wasn’t as decorated, there was no reason to take a photo of it, especially because it looked like any other car on the street hahahaha. But don’t worry, the bridal bouquet was amazing.

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Bridal Gown: Roxoanne Bagano Couture
Rating: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Cost: 💰💰
And with that, we have come to the best part ever: MY DRESS. Hahahaha. I know I know that was narcissistic. But really, I fell in love with this dress. Roxy turned out to be a friend of a friend, and I swear, she got me. She delivered the dress to our hotel on New Year’s Day. My niece Max saw it before I did, and when I walked in the hotel, she was just screaming, TITA CARLA, WE HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU! IT’S YOUR DREAM DRESS! And it truly was. Le Mari held back tears when he first saw me in it, and he couldn’t stop raving about it to this day. Roxy was such a gem, I could not have asked for a better designer.

Roxoanne Bagano Couture

Men’s Barong Tagalog: Josie’s Piña and Jusi
Rating: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Cost: 💰💰
This store came highly recommended by my cousin. Their barong tagalog designs are a mix of traditional and modern. Le Mari loved his barong and is actually one of the first things he asked for when we came to NJ. Picture this, it’s the same classic designs from the malls but the quality and hand embroidery of Lumban. It could have easily cost PHP 20,000, but Carlo the store owner gave it to us for even less than half the price.

Wedding Rings: Mayfair Jewelry, Binondo Manila
Rating: ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Cost: 💰💰
Recommended by my college mentor, Ben Cu. This is another steal. They make quality jewelry for a fraction of the price. The only thing I forgot to mention to them is to make sure that the gold is nickel free, because you might be allergic to it. The engagement ring, Le Mari got from NJ. We love our rings.

Another tip: if you prefer the satin finish, might as well go for the brushed one so it doesn’t fade as fast.

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Invitation Suite: Printsonalities
Rating: ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Cost: 💰💰💰💰
Our invitations became a source of drama because our first supplier just flat out disappointed us. I should have gone with my instinct and booked Printsonalities right off the bat because they were perfect. Because of the previous supplier’s shortcomings, I had to cancel our contract with them, leaving us with just 40 days before our targeted date of distribution for the invites. When it’s a destination wedding, you have to send out invites early.

I came to Printsonalities’ Makati office during lunch time, stressed and in a hurry. My God, are they worth the buck or what. First, they had me pick a design (if I hadn’t brought my own). Then, color, which they assisted me with in terms of matching with our intended color scheme. Then, paper and print quality. I can definitely see our invites being framed for our future home. The invites were laid out, proofed, printed, and readied for pick up in 30 days exactly. FASCINATING.

Wedding Cake and Cake-In-A-Jar Giveaways: Box of Sweets by Punky Porca
Rating: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Cost: 💰💰
I love this girl. Believe me. I think she gave me a good price for our cake and giveaways because she knows just how much I love her. I’ve seen this girl grow her enterprise from their kitchen to her own cafe. From orders from friends to being featured in wedding blogs left and right. Her talent will blow you over, and she is just the sweetest thing. And her personality is in her end product every time, made with love, sweet, and just right, never overwhelming, and will always go with a good cup of coffee.

Photobooth: Flash With A Smile
Rating: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Cost: 💰💰
I fell in love with them the moment they agreed to make me FROM SCRATCH my classic photobooth. Seriously. I love them to pieces. I can’t even believe that they charged me for the basic package when essentially they’re making my entire booth for our wedding alone. It was amazing. The props were tasteful, the photos were crisp, and there were two copies of everything. They turned over the prints and the soft copy of files on that same day. They’re a well oiled machine! Get them. Truly. GET THEM NOW.