Uncategorized

Officially opening up

/ iamsupercarla / Leave a comment

So I’ve kept this journal since 2004 and I have to admit, I haven’t really been the most faithful writer.  But as the year ends, I make another resolution, this time a much simpler one:  to choose wisely.  Funny how we don’t always acknowledge it, but that’s what basically separates us from all other beings — having the power to choose.  I wonder if anyone else have thought of attaching wisdom to that sole power.

Next year is going to be a tumultuous one, that I am certain.  As the months roll in, the modules in this management training program will be harder.  I dread the Treasury module.  Really.  I cannot imagine myself computing commodities and currencies from the top of my head.  But this is the first time I actually felt that I had a purpose doing what I’m doing.  And if that kind of satisfaction — or contentment rather — comes with risk assessments, statistics and finances, and necessesary mathematics, then I am up for it. 

No one will keep me away from this.  Nothing will keep me away from this.

I just hope the rest of the class have the same determination.  To be here is such a privilege, but sometimes, I can’t help but notice that not everyone wants to be here.  I can’t help but notice that not everyone is thankful to be here.  They’re stressed and sad and depressed and complaining almost all the time, and I know that it’s hard.  I’d be a hypocrite if I won’t admit that, but you’ve got to man up.  This is not 1960 when everything is just booming.  We are now in a world of constant competition, a world where you have to continuously prove yourself to others, a world where you have to be more, if not at par, than what you really are.  Any form of negativity or pessimism just sets you back.  And who in the world likes to walk backwards?  (Don’t answer that question.)

So there, I am officially opening up my journal.  Not that I have that much of an audience anyway.  I hope to write more meaningful stuff here, and I hope to move an individual or two with the written word. 

(Insert cheese here)

Follow me on Twitter!

 

Writer’s Block: Honesty is such a lonely word

/ iamsupercarla / 8 Comments

Honesty is such a vague word.  Oftentimes, it’s attributed to saying everything.  I think the better case is, you don’t have to share everything with your partner but it is important that what you share is true.

Writer’s Block: Take this job and shove it …

/ iamsupercarla / Leave a comment

YES and I didn’t regret it at all. I had to work as an administrative assistant for an IT company for a few months. Later on, I noticed that the "supervisor" kept giving me orders even if it’s not part of my job description, like picking up the dry cleaning, making coffee, doing the grocery. I mean, are those administrative functions!? I don’t think so. Then one day, she asked me to pick up the dry cleaning (for the NTH time!) in the middle of the day during rush hour traffic and demanded that I should be back in time for the early evening meeting (since I’m the one taking the minutes). Didn’t pick up the dry cleaning, didn’t return, and I flushed the claim receipt in the toilet bowl. Good thing, I was friends with the accountant so I still got my back pay without even going back to the office.

Writer’s Block: Take this job and shove it …

/ iamsupercarla / Leave a comment

YES and I didn’t regret it at all. I had to work as an administrative assistant for an IT company for a few months. Later on, I noticed that the "supervisor" kept giving me orders even if it’s not part of my job description, like picking up the dry cleaning, making coffee, doing the grocery. I mean, are those administrative functions!? I don’t think so. Then one day, she asked me to pick up the dry cleaning (for the NTH time!) in the middle of the day during rush hour traffic and demanded that I should be back in time for the early evening meeting (since I’m the one taking the minutes). Didn’t pick up the dry cleaning, didn’t return, and I flushed the claim receipt in the toilet bowl. Good thing, I was friends with the accountant so I still got my back pay without even going back to the office.

Resting on our laurels

/ iamsupercarla / Leave a comment

Normal
0

false
false
false

EN-US
X-NONE
X-NONE

MicrosoftInternetExplorer4

/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:”Table Normal”;
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-qformat:yes;
mso-style-parent:””;
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin-top:0in;
mso-para-margin-right:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt;
mso-para-margin-left:0in;
line-height:115%;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:11.0pt;
font-family:”Calibri”,”sans-serif”;
mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:”Times New Roman”;
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}

We are moving along the last few weeks of our RLE here in the Commonwealth branch and I have to say, I am pretty much disappointed as to how we’re acting. We’re procrastinating. It’s so bad, I’m not even denying it, and what’s worse I’m not doing anything about it. It’s quite overwhelming. I hate the fact that we’re only helping out with the branch during our first weeks, when we’re obliged to do so, but now, we’re just floating, from one place to another (in our minds at least), trying to finish a paper that’s already been finished!

We decided to talk about the necessary improvements that should be made in the branch. In fact, we’re supposed to write them down as if these changes would drastically affect the branch’s performance and the public’s perception of our service. We’re also supposed to talk this over with the branch head. We haven’t done any of that. We haven’t even thought of starting it at all.

Are we resting on our laurels? It sure feels like we are. Sometimes, I don’t understand why we have to be so good, because we tend to be overconfident. I know a lot of people won’t admit that, but come on! They cannot deny how much it makes them feel good to not actually have to exert so much effort on something that can be accomplished with minimal helpings of zest and enthusiasm. Really. Now is not the time to be fake.

We have become better than ourselves and although that is hardly a bad thing, it has made us overdependent on our capacity to produce so much with so little time. Whatever happened to perseverance, resilience, hardwork and humility? Did all those go out the window?

I don’t know anymore. All I do know right now is that one way or another, I have to move. I cannot be idle again.

~*~

I had a great night with Marga when she slept over. Four beers later, we’re still ogling at Chace Crawford and his amazing man-bangs. Hahaha. I don’t know why Marga’s so crazy about him. I don’t see anything special, but hey, whatever makes her sleep at night.

~*~

I watch you spin around in your highest heels. You are the best one of the best ones.

I am beginning to fall in love with this song, even if it’s only because of those lines. The sincerity in the vocalist’s belted out lyrics really knows how to tug your heart strings. I can listen to this song all day and I wouldn’t be sick of it.

You have stolen my heart.

~*~

So my friend Adah (http://twitter.com/insanefreak) is about to become a lonely girl. Her boyfriend Kit is going away next year to live in New York, and we’ll both be stuck here in the Philippines. I’d love to join her misery, as long as I’m not busy with the training. I just hope she can pull herself together because there will come a time when Kit’s the one who’ll need all the help in getting through every day.

That’s what I learned in long-term relationships: it requires work. A lot of work actually. And maintenance too. It’s worse than taking care of a building because this one, you’ll forever be emotionally invested. But knowing Adah, I highly doubt that they’ll have a hard time getting through it.

~*~

And in three years or so, when Kit finally petitions Adah and her son Euske, they will get married. I don’t know if I’ll be happy or sad.

I do have a strong feeling that I am the last in the group to ever get married. It’s not that it’s bad; it’s mostly because (should this happen) it’s not consensual.

Ugh.

~*~

And this is me thinking about opening my blog to public viewing.