Last Friday, February 1, our house was broken into.  My dad drove me to work around 5:00 in the morning and when he returned around 6:00 in the morning, everything in the living room was in shambles.  The robber got in through the kitchen screen door.  We forgot to close the second door; we weren’t expecting anyone to attempt something mean or cruel since my father is one of the friendliest and most known people in the neighborhood.  The robber took our DVD player, my dad’s watch and our expensive wine.  I guess what we are most thankful for was the fact that he didn’t attempt to go inside the rooms where my mom and brothers were sleeping.

Last Saturday was one of the worst days of my life.  My student, Angelina, competed in our company’s first ever speech competition.  I am not sure how everything went because I left early.  I only work part time for the offline department in our company so I don’t know anyone there.  And they certainly didn’t make an effort getting to know me.  Or even at least acknowledging that they have a guest in their midst.  I have never felt so excluded in my entire life.  I went home right after Angelina’s presentation.

Also last Saturday, I asked my partner

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why he doesn’t have that much girl friends.  He said he doesn’t know but that should be an advantage for me since I have no one to be jealous of.  Then I asked him if he’s comfortable that most of my intimate friends are guys.  He said yes.  It’s actually a first for me, and a first from him to me.  He usually doesn’t like me hanging out with the boys but I guess in a way, he grew out of it.

Security comes in so many forms.  Whether it is at home, at work or in a relationship, each form is essential.  It usually speaks of our capability to be responsible, to attend to things we are obligated to do, to find comfort in our own skin and also, of faith in our partners.  The thing with security is, it comes in so many forms… and you have to attend to each of it.

It’s easy to secure a home, or a company, or a country.  Setting up the world’s finest surveillance system isn’t really as complicated as its spelling; it just takes money.  For all we know, money could grow on trees.  Because security is such a pressing issue on these big bodies, it doesn’t matter how much it costs; what’s important is the implementation.

The difficult kind of security is in others and in yourself.  There are constant challenges — intimate conversations, constant participation, stereotypical discussions of all sorts — that one must overcome.  Some would say, it takes two to achieve this kind of security… come to think of it, not really.

To make someone comfortable, you have the responsibility to show them that it’s okay. 

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before is so much against me being friends with boys.  It takes a lot of time and patience to prove yourself that you deserve such privilege, but nevertheless, it has to come from you.  It’s not that they don’t trust you; I think it’s because they don’t trust them.

I managed to steer clear of that dangerous boundary soon enough and well, I have to say, I’m pretty much satisfied even if it did take him a pretty long while to get there.  The thing is, we got there, and I took him there… and he trusted me enough to go along.

I knew that I haven’t been updating a lot, but it didn’t really occur to me that it has been a month since I last wrote here.  I promised myself that this year, I will blog as much as I can because I want to keep a track of my life.  I want something to look back to when I’m old.  I want something that could possibly trigger my memories just in case I get Alzheimer’s (remind me to write down my user name and password).  Then here I am, all procrastinating and shit.  LOL.

Highlights?  Dylan passed the board exams.  Everything has changed from that point forward.  Basically, he patched things up with everyone:  his family, his dad, and his friends.  I have never seen him this satisfied.  Now all we talk about is his ratings and the job that’s waiting for him in Houston, Texas.  I know it’s a long distance relationship.  But the advantage to this one is that we’re both adults, fully grown, and with enough depth in pockets to actually invest in communication schemes.

I am currently working as an online English teacher and researcher here in Jabez International Education Center.  Actually, this is what kept me busy in the past month.  I’m enjoying it here.  They weren’t able to meet my original price but we managed to meet halfway.  I am on probation for a month and according to the feedback that I received from the branch manager yesterday, they seem to find me perfect for the job.

I knew from the very beginning a lax and lenient management has some downside and here it is (or there it was as it was presented to me yesterday):  after my contract expires (which is on Friday), they can’t afford me anymore, unless I reduce my salary to the ranks of the teachers here.  Naturally, I felt offended.  Not only do I feel being shortchanged, but I feel that my work is not valued here.  They compared me to the other teachers here.

I’m not being rude and all but they don’t do what I do.  They don’t develop material.  They don’t create lesson plans from scratch.  They don’t do manuals and paraphrase English textbooks so that it’ll match that of a Level 1 Beginner learner.  They can throw me anywhere — classroom teaching, one-on-one teaching, group discussions, brainstorming, research and development — and I won’t even need a day to reset my mind and get into the groove that they’d throw me into.

Damn right.  I am THAT good.

Bottom line is:  I don’t want to be a bargain.  Because I’m not.  I’m a hefty fine catch.  I know what my mind is worth.  You don’t get regularized and have lower pay.  It’s not the right order of things.  And I have no plans adapting it to be the order for me.

I don’t want to write anymore