love
Rekindling the flame
It’s been a yearly tradition to have Valentine’s dinner here in Antipolo, hosted by none other than Marga. This year, we decided to do something different: actually have a theme. Hahahaha. For a party for 8, it’s actually pretty big. But since this is one tradition that we started (and managed to keep through the years), we might as well make a big deal out of it.
An addition to the guest list is seven-year-old couple Sbomb and Eric. I think Shasta is also coming; so is Angel. They are Marga’s friends from college. She’s also thinking of inviting Kevin. Ugh. I’m not so sure about that one but hey! If it makes the party livelier, why not? I just hope he’d participate.
Which goes to say for all of the men. Having dinner with family and friends is actually much better than going all the way to Dangwa for that thick wad of flowers to give to your lady. I like this tradition much better than the usual dating because Dylan gets to know more of my family. I’m actually thinking of inviting his sister Cassie and her boyfriend Gian along, but since they’re not in speaking terms, I don’t think that’s such a good idea.
Coming up with a program for a party that would last till the wee hours of the morning is no easy task, especially when you want to keep in mind that not everyone might be comfortable with everyone. Take for example Dylan and Kevin. He has expressed so vocally that he doesn’t like Kevin for Marga. She’s too good for him, he said. Oh well. I don’t know how this will go but I am crossing my fingers.
I am also rekindling my love for pictures. Just today, I added another post to my dA account. I think it’s been almost a year since I last posted something there. It was pretty relaxing to finally have something to share again, or at least have the time to share. Right now, I’m thinking of enrolling in a photography workshop… but then again, of course, I need to update my camera first.
DSLR? Or film SLR?
Was supposed to have gotten over the iPhone by now, but after realizing that more and more people are getting the damned thing, I keep wanting the same thing too. I did mention my mom getting me a subnotebook over the weekend, so I’m now aiming to buy my own iPhone in cash using my hard-earned money.
In short, I better do everything that I can to keep my job. Hahahaha.
I can’t wait to get my hands on my own computer. MY OWN COMPUTER after a very long time! *sigh* I realyl can’t wait. That means more blogging hours for me.
And for those who know me well, you know how much I love to read my own words. LOL.
Conceitedly yours, moi.
Random ramblings
Marga and I are having problems nailing a job. We got so excited and hyped over the thought of emancipation and owning our very own house, we get easily frustrated when a job interview goes to nowhere.
Has anyone noticed how hard it is to nail day jobs? It’s like looking for a hooker who looks like Angelina Jolie (without the pregnant belly). I know for a fact I can’t work nights anymore. My mom is petrified at the thought of having my seizures again.* So here I am, desperately seeking that next day job and hopefully be satisfied with it.
*When I lack sleep and adequate rest, I get partial seizures. My entire left arm goes numb and so does the left side of my face. Fuh-reaaaaky.
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I took a good look at my resume and saw that it’s been two years since I graduated and I am yet to settle down. I mean, loyally work for a company. I guess that’s what makes job hunting twice as hard: I actually want to grow this time, not just to have money to buy shoes (though that will always and forever be a valid reason to do physical labor). I actually want to get somewhere.
I am close to desperate actually. This morning, I posted this on my Y!M status: I am sooo jobless. In a flash, everyone in my list just started asking for my CV, saying they’ll find me one in their company. A grade school friend, whom I haven’t seen for the past 10 years, actually offered me a job in her mom’s company. Damn. Desperate is the word.
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Dylan is actually settled now. He’s having a perfectly good time at ePerformax, which to be honest, I am beginning to envy. HOWEVER, it’s the first time that I actually saw him willing and enthusiastic in a job. From what he tells me, he seems to have pretty good peers to. But he did emphasize that there’s nothing like our wave in CVG. Yeah.
Just this afternoon, he told me he wants to be a trainer in the company. Whoa. Talk about longevity and permanence. I’m pretty proud of him. It’s actually his first time to set a goal/career path. He usually just does what his parents tell him. I guess that’s what emancipation does to a person.
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WHICH IS WHY I CAN’T WAIT TO BE EMANCIPATED!
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But that is such a long shot. I have come to terms that the average Filipino family has too many debts, they can’t afford losing one of the contributors in the household income. I don’t mind. Giving my share every pay day actually makes me feel better. I can see the ease my parents get every time I hand them the slice of my pie, and to be honest, it’s nice to see that I somehow bring comfort to them.
Of course, that last happened a couple of months ago because right now, I am UNEMPLOYED.
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Sheesh.
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I’m going to Makati tomorrow with a vengeance.
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Unemployed yet again
So… by the end of the month, I am yet again unemployed. This isn’t something new to me. I think I’ve been in that position too many times, it feels like I’m just putting on underwear. I don’t know. I pity my parents. I’m sure they’re itching to lecture me about company loyalty, professional stability and the capability to have a steady, regular flow of income to supply for my ever-growing list of wants and needs. Plus of course, that itsy bitsy factor that I help a lot with the house bills.
I don’t know. I resigned again. Every single time I do that, I feel defeated. I feel like I gave up on myself again. I feel like I’ve wasted another opportunity for me. And I can sense that the people I know feel it too.
That’s the thing that I am most thankful for. Being educated enough to know what I want to pursue. But it’s also something that I’m itching to get out of. Being educated enough to know the responsibilities that come every month. Most of the time, they mean completely different things. And for me, there’s always some kind of desperation there. Not only does it make choosing more difficult, but it incorporates the word “wisely” much deeper than you wish it to be.
The type of job/career/work that I want to have is the one where I can move freely. I know that’s pretty vague, but that’s the closest I can get to describing the perfect task for me. But I do know though, that that task requires a lot of money to put up and not so much to get in return. For anyone, that’s not a fair bargain. Especially for first-born only-girl people whose overachieving self never failed to be perceived as the perfect girl for every situation.
I am soooo bitter. I bet you can tell. Oh well.
It’s not like this is my first time to be here.
Roll with the punches. There’s no time to be sissy now. Next bill comes in 15 days. I can’t afford to miss paying for that one.
the salt of your skin 