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We are moving along the last few weeks of our RLE here in the Commonwealth branch and I have to say, I am pretty much disappointed as to how we’re acting. We’re procrastinating. It’s so bad, I’m not even denying it, and what’s worse I’m not doing anything about it. It’s quite overwhelming. I hate the fact that we’re only helping out with the branch during our first weeks, when we’re obliged to do so, but now, we’re just floating, from one place to another (in our minds at least), trying to finish a paper that’s already been finished!

We decided to talk about the necessary improvements that should be made in the branch. In fact, we’re supposed to write them down as if these changes would drastically affect the branch’s performance and the public’s perception of our service. We’re also supposed to talk this over with the branch head. We haven’t done any of that. We haven’t even thought of starting it at all.

Are we resting on our laurels? It sure feels like we are. Sometimes, I don’t understand why we have to be so good, because we tend to be overconfident. I know a lot of people won’t admit that, but come on! They cannot deny how much it makes them feel good to not actually have to exert so much effort on something that can be accomplished with minimal helpings of zest and enthusiasm. Really. Now is not the time to be fake.

We have become better than ourselves and although that is hardly a bad thing, it has made us overdependent on our capacity to produce so much with so little time. Whatever happened to perseverance, resilience, hardwork and humility? Did all those go out the window?

I don’t know anymore. All I do know right now is that one way or another, I have to move. I cannot be idle again.

~*~

I had a great night with Marga when she slept over. Four beers later, we’re still ogling at Chace Crawford and his amazing man-bangs. Hahaha. I don’t know why Marga’s so crazy about him. I don’t see anything special, but hey, whatever makes her sleep at night.

~*~

I watch you spin around in your highest heels. You are the best one of the best ones.

I am beginning to fall in love with this song, even if it’s only because of those lines. The sincerity in the vocalist’s belted out lyrics really knows how to tug your heart strings. I can listen to this song all day and I wouldn’t be sick of it.

You have stolen my heart.

~*~

So my friend Adah (http://twitter.com/insanefreak) is about to become a lonely girl. Her boyfriend Kit is going away next year to live in New York, and we’ll both be stuck here in the Philippines. I’d love to join her misery, as long as I’m not busy with the training. I just hope she can pull herself together because there will come a time when Kit’s the one who’ll need all the help in getting through every day.

That’s what I learned in long-term relationships: it requires work. A lot of work actually. And maintenance too. It’s worse than taking care of a building because this one, you’ll forever be emotionally invested. But knowing Adah, I highly doubt that they’ll have a hard time getting through it.

~*~

And in three years or so, when Kit finally petitions Adah and her son Euske, they will get married. I don’t know if I’ll be happy or sad.

I do have a strong feeling that I am the last in the group to ever get married. It’s not that it’s bad; it’s mostly because (should this happen) it’s not consensual.

Ugh.

~*~

And this is me thinking about opening my blog to public viewing.