Of course, I’m missing out.

Of course, I feel that way everyday.  I look at my Facebook friends, and see the faces I haven’t seen since grade school.  And they’re all abroad or in their swanky new apartment/condo or with their new baby or on a trip with their loving husband.  They are everywhere and I am just here.  And sometimes, I am beginning to think I haven’t seized as much opportunities as I should have.

2004, I went to the US.  Could have easily applied for a film scholarship there.  Could have easily looked for a writing internship and applied to convert my tourist visa to student.  Could have easily inquired about sponsorship and worked there.  But no.  I went back.

Then, there’s meeting Epy Quizon, who hinted about “pursuing passions early”.  Could have headed to MOWELFUND right after that interview.  Could have headed to UPFI for an application.  Could have headed to LVN or Viva or Star and inquired about a possible internship. But no. I just went back to school.

Worked for Eat Bulaga for almost a year as a commentator/critic.  Met the entire cast and crew.  Met directors.  Writers.  Producers.  Worked side by side with the veterans of the entertainment business.  Could have easily pushed for a better job.  Could have easily pushed for more writing gigs.  Could have easily kissed ass in hopes of being part of their immediate circle.  But no.  I just went about my day, working from one paper to another, being invisible.

So yeah.  I have a  lot of reasons to feel that everything good is happening somewhere else.  Because the supposed good things that should be happening to me, I just let them all pass me by.  So there.  Here I am, wishing for a good thing to come by.  Then maybe, if I’m brave enough, I get to be the good thing other people wish happened to them.

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