To die by your side is such a heavenly way to die

¿Para qué vale la pena, valió la pena todo el tiempo.

It’s the Spanish translation of one of my favorite song lines ever.  It’s not new, that’s for sure, but for me, it was that memorable.

I don’t know why lately I’ve been quite melodramatic about how the state of the “Carla” is going.  There are just some realities that cut to close to the eye, and there’s no stopping it because it happening is just a matter-of-fact.

Take for example Dylan’s IELTS review.  He’s taking it in preparation for his overseas employment.  We’ve already talked about this; it is actually one of the more practical talks that we’ve had for a long time.  Upon completing the first year in his contract, he will start preparing all the necessary documentation and licenses needed for overseas employment.  We have targeted the UK for him, mainly because of the NHS and how they don’t choose who to cure (oh yes).  When he heard about the gravity of the taxes there, well, it’s an understatement to say that he was discouraged.

There’s something about that plan that breaks my heart; I am yet again going to be left behind.  Although I know the reasons (and they are really good reasons) for his departure, it doesn’t make my heartbreak any less bearable.

I told him to just bear the taxes.  I want him to actually help people.  The only instance that I felt that kick from him, that accomplished kick of being an ER nurse, was when they tried to save a 22-year-old guy with the younger brother waiting at the wings.  Whichever country he goes to, he and his immediate family will always have the same healthcare benefits.  What I want him to have is the liberty to care for anyone who needs it.  Without that, the only difference would be higher pay.

The guy didn’t make it.  And Dylan is once again confronted by man’s mortality.

Most of the time, I am thankful that his occupation often has brushes (actually, laps and laps and laps) with death.  He lives happier now, takes care of himself better, looks out for others more cautiously… and I believe I have to be thankful for what he does.  There are off days of course, but they no longer last as long as they used to.

There are far more things that trouble my mind, apart from Dylan’s impending departure.  I’m trying to be as pragmatic about everything as I can be, but then again, my melodramatic side can only change so much.

Okay, I’m skirting off to work now.  Toodles.


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