If I died tonight

I think it’s a lie each time people say they can die now and they’d be okay with it.  I think a person will always wonder what happened next when he/she died.  How people reacted.  How they looked.  How they were buried.  What were given away and left behind.  Everything remains a wonder to a person even if he/she has already passed away.

The most difficult death I have ever had to live through was my grandfather’s.  To date, I cannot talk about it without tearing up.  It was just so devastating that I cannot imagine losing anyone else.  And I can’t talk about it anymore because I am at work.

So yeah.  If I die tonight, I want everyone to listen to Coldplay and wear something gray.  I think out of all the colors, I’ve come to love gray the most.  It looks so somber.  Green is a close second.  I am just assuming that the grass would be so lush when I am buried, so I won’t really miss it.

But really how many will cry?  How many will not visit?  How many will choose to give flowers?  Who will choose to spend the night?  It’s a question of sorts and I will be surprised if you have not asked these questions yourself.

It’s a pensive Monday morning, folks.  I think it’s because the sun is frying my brain each time I walk out and I am beginning to think I can seriously die just waiting for the stoplight to change.  Makati needs more trees.

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