there are so many pictures… i don’t know what to do with them all.  i wanna flush them down the drain, but i know that will make the pipes go crazy.  i wanna rip them apart but they take so much effort.  c’mon… it’s almost unbelievable, the amount of these pictures i mean.  they’re everywhere.  my mirror.  my laptop.  my friendster.  my myspace (is that redundant or something?).  my pc.  they’re everywhere and they’re overwhelming.

and even though previously i have told everyone (though i don’t think everyone got the message) i have chosen to be numb, i tend to falter a lil.  but still, i don’t resort to crying or whatever.  still choosing to be numb.  that’s how deep the rabbit hole goes.  oh well.

the house renovation is about to finish.  OMG you cannot believe the dirt this renovation makes!  i would sweep the floor, wipe the surfaces and try to keep things in order only to wait for five minutes and see everything covered in dust again!  it is soooooooo damn annoying.  i want them to be done already, so they can leave and i can design my bigger room now.  and what i hate the most?  these construction workers are smoking at their own liberty in and out of the house!  grrr… i mean, i am a smoker myself but still, i don’t leave ashes on the floor and usually, they’re soooo damn hard to clean up.

i wanna paint my room white, and have all of my furniture in loud colors like red, orange, green and yellow.  or maybe i should paint everything light yellow with bronze accents.  then have everything inside the room in earth tones.  would love some input. *grin*

how can you break my fucking heart and tell me you still love me?

exactly the question on my head right now.  if i had a million bucks, i’d give half of it to the one who can justify that action.

i miss singing.  i think i need someone to come with me to the karaoke bar and sing with me.  i miss rocking.  really really really miss rocking.  it’s like this particular emptiness in my body.

i better grab a night life.  again.