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I’m going to stop hiding if you start showing yourself.

/ iamsupercarla / Leave a comment

So the last couple of posts made me sound like someone who can’t do anything better that day.  I’ve decided to put an end to it (or a pause, if you may) and just be my ranting self.

I haven’t spoken to my mom for the past 36 hours.  It all started when she picked me up from QC.  She said I’ve been gaining weight.  When Thursday morning came, she said I should work out more.  Around lunchtime, she said I’m becoming "wider".  Then on our way to church, she said my clothes are inappropriate and slutty.  Talk about tough love eh?  Naturally, I stomped my way to the closet to change clothes.  There’s not much to say after that.  She just  stopped talking.

Don’t get me wrong; you can criticize me all you want and I welcome that.  But I guess that’s not always the case when it comes to your family.  Your family is the sole core group that is obliged to love and care for you, no matter what shape or size you’re in.  I felt a bit betrayed when I noticed that she hasn’t really said anything worth remembering since I got here.  I’m starting to regret my decision to spend the long vacation here.  

Honestly, I don’t feel like apologizing.  What am I supposed to apologize for?  For reacting the way I did?  I never questioned her maternal right over me; she has the right to reprimand me all she wants when I’m wrong.  I just wish she can be more empathic.  She can be overly critical and she can make it look like my fault.  I mean, come on.  Are you kidding me?  Hindi porke anak ako, ako na lang parati ang mali.  I have all the right in the world to react against anyone’s opinion, especially those that hurt my pride and ego.  

I’m sure, once I tell this to my friends, I’ll get a handful of advice.  Listen to her, she’s your mom.  You shouldn’t have said that.  Blah.  Blah.  Blah.  Where in the rule book did it say that moms are infallible?  I mean, fuck it, they know best, that’s for sure, but where in the grand scheme of things did it say that they can never make a mistake in raising their child?  I’m raised well; I thank God every day for that.  But sometimes, the things she says and the way she reacts to how I look and the things I say make me question whether I measure up to her idea of a daughter.

Dear Mom.  I am 24.  Freaking 24.  I get it.  You just want me to look better.  But your manner of saying it makes me feel ugly.  You make me feel ugly.  Seriously.  And you should be the last person that could make me feel like this.  Ironically, you’re the first.  I am not going to apologize for the way I dress.  It makes me feel pretty.  My clothes make me feel sexy and confident.  I don’t like the fact that you’re trying to change that, just so I can conform to a conservative set of rules made up 30 years ago.  This is now and I am born in the now.  I am not forcing you to live my years, so don’t force me to live yours.  Next time you tell me to cover up, be prepared to wear a plunging neckline.  If I’m changing for you, you should be as hell ready to change for me.

There.  End rant here.  I go now to my secret place where Alejandro and Rubi just keeps looking at each other and this song plays in the background.

*happy place* 

Being Blair Waldorf

/ iamsupercarla / 6 Comments

It’s very seldom that you find someone on television that is worth idolizing.  Most of the stars in Philippine TV is all about vengeance and torn families, and love affairs gone wrong, so my thanks go out to Entertainment Channel of Solar Television Production, for introducing (drum roll please) Gossip Girl.

I think when they first made this show, they immediately coined Serena as the it-girl.  The one whose hair catches the light.  The one whose smile can brighten up a whole room.  The rebel.  The hobo blonde.  The one out to find and fight for the truth.  But she’s the tacky heroine.  She’s the kind of heroine that um, sleeps around.  And if the heroine is that hard to like, you go to the supposed-to-be-best thing:  the frenemy of the heroine.

Now, don’t get me wrong:  Serena is the reason why Gossip Girl is all the drama.  But the style, the fashion and the witty one-liners all came from one character:  Blair Waldorf.  Plus, her outfits are never on the verge of outrageous and outdated.  She’s right on the money.  A little play on the colors and a 20-year-old can wear it.  Mute the tones and go with the flesh, a 30-year-old can pull it off (with a heathy dose of confidence of course).  I think I dare say that she is the SJP of this generation.  The risque.  The brave.  The maldita.  The antithesis.

Plus, who wouldn’t fall for that cute face?  Well… I wouldn’t but that character is hard not to love. :)


 Haven’t you heard?  I’m the crazy bitch around here.


Dorota, don’t ever go to high school.


I know women.  And none of us are that nice.

Being Blair Waldorf

/ iamsupercarla / Leave a comment

It’s very seldom that you find someone on television that is worth idolizing.  Most of the stars in Philippine TV is all about vengeance and torn families, and love affairs gone wrong, so my thanks go out to Entertainment Channel of Solar Television Production, for introducing (drum roll please) Gossip Girl.

I think when they first made this show, they immediately coined Serena as the it-girl.  The one whose hair catches the light.  The one whose smile can brighten up a whole room.  The rebel.  The hobo blonde.  The one out to find and fight for the truth.  But she’s the tacky heroine.  She’s the kind of heroine that um, sleeps around.  And if the heroine is that hard to like, you go to the supposed-to-be-best thing:  the frenemy of the heroine.

Now, don’t get me wrong:  Serena is the reason why Gossip Girl is all the drama.  But the style, the fashion and the witty one-liners all came from one character:  Blair Waldorf.  Plus, her outfits are never on the verge of outrageous and outdated.  She’s right on the money.  A little play on the colors and a 20-year-old can wear it.  Mute the tones and go with the flesh, a 30-year-old can pull it off (with a heathy dose of confidence of course).  I think I dare say that she is the SJP of this generation.  The risque.  The brave.  The maldita.  The antithesis.

Plus, who wouldn’t fall for that cute face?  Well… I wouldn’t but that character is hard not to love. :)


 Haven’t you heard?  I’m the crazy bitch around here.


Dorota, don’t ever go to high school.


I know women.  And none of us are that nice.

Party Pilipinas’ Yellow: EPIC FAIL.

/ iamsupercarla / 6 Comments

 Party Pilipinas debuted last Sunday and they had all these things going on.  Apart from the fact that the DOP seems to have gone camera crazy, they also butchered one of Coldplay’s best songs by letting two misspelled-named damsels turn it into a ballad.  Much more, they couldn’t hack the theatrics of the original choreography.  It’s so painful to watch.  Or maybe I just dislike any show that goes against ASAP.  LOL.

This is what they did.

And this is how it’s supposed to be done.

Major, MAJOR difference.

Theme: Photo Sunday

/ iamsupercarla / 2 Comments

In an effort to make my blog chirpier and happier, I’ve decided to create a theme on a daily basis.  Here’s some wine wishing I can keep this up.  Hahaha.  


We finally found a really good purpose for an empty parking lot.
Subject:  Moks Gonzales
Location:  Metrobank Makati parking lot


I have a habit of scribbling down thoughts that need to be said.  It’s actually pretty healthy.  I recommend this for everyone.


Now, this is a pretty awesome tattoo.
Souce:  FFFFound


This will be my kid’s rocking horse.  Vespa, baby.  I’ll make him/her love Europe.
Source:  FFFFound


If this is the price of being a permanent pedestrian, I don’t mind paying for it.
Source:  FFFFound

 
I sing in my head:  "I want to taste the salt of your skin.  Oh some kind of oblivion."
Source:  FFFFound


Oh sweet child.  To call being in love agonizing… is a gross understatement.
Source:  FFFFound


I said I wanted to see stars from my bedroom, so he took them all and hung them over my head.
Source:  FFFFound