Dear World Florist Association,

Some 7 or 8 years ago, I broke off a relationship for reasons I now do not understand.  That same person found his way back to me and we have been very blessed since.  He has calmed me, kept me composed, given me peace when I needed it the most, and tamed my potty mouth. His “level-headedness” is something I do my best to imitate.  He is quite an admirable man.

Imagine my giddiness when, three days before Valentine’s Day, he not-so-subtly checked if I will be in the office all day because something “may or may not arrive between 8am to 6pm.”

Imagine my suppressed laughter when, come Valentine’s Day, I can sense he’s forcing himself to stay awake until that something came.

Imagine my worry when his eagerness turned into anxiety, and then disappointment as the hours passed by and nothing came.

Imagine his frustrated tone when he finally admitted, the next day, that he picked out flowers for me that was supposed to arrive on V-day, and that he paid extra so it would arrive before lunchtime.

Imagine my surprise when he didn’t receive a notification from your company that the delivery was not made.

Imagine the tiny ounce of patience left in me when I calmly said, “Let’s see how they will apologize for it on Monday.”

Imagine my anger when you didn’t.

Allan never misses an occasion.  With almost 7,000 miles between us, he has made sure to never miss an event or an instance to profess his love for me.  (We long distance couples depend on these supposed convenient means to make our presence felt, just in case you are incapable of doing the math.)  So it all made sense when he finally admitted that it was the World Florist Association who did not deliver.

If he had not written an email about the non-delivery, would your sales team have informed him?  Not a peep, not a call, not a single PROACTIVE apology.  He had to tell you that you failed to do your job.

You did not even find it within the sphere of simple customer service and basic crisis management to just send the flowers immediately.  He had to wait for you to come up with it on your own.

You further insulted him, in my opinion, by throwing him a bone in the form of chocolates and a committed February 19 delivery.

A woman called at 3:30 pm today, confirming the delivery address and at the same time, assuring me that the flowers will reach me today.  It is now 10:00 pm and I am yet to see the shadow of the flowers my partner had lovingly picked out for me.

AND YOU STILL HAVE THE GALL TO CHARGE ALLAN FOR YOUR “SERVICE.” There is not a single soul in the business of complaints handling that would attest to your effective conflict resolution.  At least, not in this instance.

I could have done away with the flowers.  But Allan picked those out.  I want to see what he got for me.  He knows to pick exactly the ones I would love. He never misses an occasion.  But thanks to you, he has now.

I wanted to know at what level of disservice, dissatisfaction and inconvenience would trigger your tiny, tiny mind to actually deliver the product as requested as committed and also, grant him a full refund for every bit of trouble you’ve put him through?

Because given your poor comprehension of business ethics and the realization that you have not come close in making up for it — and my potty mouth ready to fire off at this very minute — a semblance of GENUINE, SINCERE, AND MEASURABLE APOLOGY IS IN DIRE NEED.

World Florist Association, sir, you are a cunt. You do not deserve his faith in your service, much more his money. You should be ashamed of yourself. Fucking give it back.

I am blessed with a kind-hearted man who will never talk down on anyone or make anyone feel bad on purpose. He will disagree with me on this, this email will lead to an argument, but I am not about to sit idly by and watch you STEAL HIS HARD EARNED MONEY AND CALL IT A QUALITY PRODUCT.

 
Absolutely never using your service again and OHMYGOD my LDR couple friends are going to so hear all about your assholery,
Me.