also, people have got to stop telling me to be optimistic when i’m all done with it.  in fact, there are so many things i am so furious about right now, i can give you reasons what you shouldn’t do to me and the reasons why you shouldn’t.

i do not deserve…

1.  to be offended in public.
2.  to be wooed for the next couple of days only to break me on the third day.
3.  to be ordered around as if i don’t get tired.
4.  to be watched over like a four year old
5.  to be watched over like a seventeen year old with rampaging hormones.
6.  to be doubted in my own home within my own family.
7.  to be lied to.
8.  to wait for water for the past six hours only to have someone finish the bottle i was chilling.
9.  to lift heavy things.
10.to not have a person to present to my family, whether that person is happy or not.

why do i not deserve this?  because i am a good person.  i care for my family, i always follow what my parents say, i look after my grandparents, i watch over my brothers and my cousins, i live up to everyone’s expectations.  i deserve their respect to be left alone for fifteen minutes to have a decent talk with my boyfriend.  i deserve that silence, i deserve that because i always work for them, i always do what i want.

i am a loving person.  i understand everything as much as i can, and bear as much as i can, because of my principles.  i believe i will be rewarded for my patience, and that everyone deserves someone to be patient with them.  SO WHEN I AM FUCKING PATIENT WITH YOU, UNDERSTANDING, LOVING, CARING AND AN EXTREMELY AMAZING SUPPORT GROUP (YOU CAN RUN A HUNDRED-PERSON SURVERY AND I’D SCORE A 99 ON THAT) STOP TELLING ME NOT TO BE.  that is who i am so STOP FREAKING REJECTING THE ONE PERSON WHO’S BEING SO NAKED AND SO FUCKING REAL TO YOU WHEN EVERYONE ELSE YOU SEE IS SO DAMN FAKE.

OO FUCK GALIT NA GALIT AKO.  NAGAGAGO AKO SA MGA GINAGAWA NG MGA TAO.  WHEN I SAY SOMETHING, I’M BEING INSENSITIVE, NOT ATTENTIVE AT ALL.  WHEN ASKED WHAT’S ON MY MIND AND I REPLY WITH NONE, I GET FUCKING RHETORIC AS IF I DON’T FRIGGIN’ CARE.  WELL GUESS WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?  I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO FUCKING CARES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  IN FACT I CARE SO FUCKING DAMN MUCH, YOUR NEXT GENERATION’S GENERATION CAN LIVE FOR THREE FRIGGIN’ LIFETIMES!!!!!!!!!

STOP TELLING ME NOT TO BE MYSELF BECAUSE THAT’S ME!!!! I KNOW MY OBLIGATIONS, AM UNDERSTANDING, RESPECTFUL, POLITE, SWEET, KIND, AND SO DAMN IN LOVE AND IF YOU CAN’T HANDLE THAT, THEN GO BUY A FREAKING MANUAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AT IKAW!  MAGING RESPONSABLE KA SA SARILI MONG PAMAMAHAY!  TUMULONG KA SA MGA MAGULANG MO!  ALL THIS TIME I THOUGHT I WAS SETTING AN EXAMPLE FOR YOU, EH PUCHA WALA KA NAMANG GINAWA KUNDI MAGMAKTOL AT UMANGAL SA MGA PROBLEMA NA PUMAPALIBOT SA NAPAKALIIT MONG MUNDO!!!!!  LEARN HOW TO GROW UP!!!!! TUMATANDA KA LANG PERO WALA KANG NAGIGING PAGBABAGO!!!!  WAG MO BASTUSIN MAGULANG MO SA HARAPAN NG IBANG TAO!!!!! MAHIYA KA SA UGALING PINAPAKITA MO SA SARILI MONG PAMILYA!!!! AND ON TOP OF EVERYTHING ELSE, BE FREAKING SENSITIVE TO OTHER’S NEEDS BECAUSE THEY ARE SOOOOOOOOOO DAMN ATTUNED TO YOURS, BECAUSE YOU NEVER LET THEM FORGET!!!!! MAGING SENSITIBO KA NAMAN!!!!! MATUTO KANG UMINTINDI!!!!