Something is off.  I can feel it in my bones.  Last Saturday, I went with Adah, Alfie and Amanda (and Euske the bungi!) to the Fully Booked short story writing seminar at The Fort.  The speaker was Tara FT Sering, a Palanca winner, and she was teaching us how to develop a character and complex plots in hopes of adding depth to the story.  I believe it’s been a while since I last attended something that fed my artistic fancy.  I was surrounded by great teachers from various language schools, aspiring writers, contributors, and even an idol (Thank you God for that day).  For that afternoon, I was moved.  For a good solid two hours, I was driven to write.

So after dining with my friends, I came home and indulged by surfing the Internet, much love to the free wifi connection.  Then I went to my journal, realizing that it’s been a week (yet again) since I last wrote something and two weeks since I last wrote something of substance.  Just when I thought I was moved, I was stuck.  A solid hour.  I was just staring at this blank page, not knowing what to write.  And it’s not like me to not have an opinion about something.  And again, I was depressed.

There’s something about this training that’s flushing out all of my artistic fuel.  I think it’s the fact that I am trying so hard to catch up with everyone else (and everything else) that’s driven me out of the artsy fartsy canvas.  And I miss it.  I miss the abstract display of emotion, and the verbose stylings of poets and young writers, and the romanticism of death, and the tragedy and comedie (as spelled by good ol’ Will) of love.  I miss them all.  I should really do something.  This is the kind of skill that’s not covered in our training modules.

I do remember one thing in the seminar that proved to be most useful for me:  just write.  What if I get writer’s block?  Just write.  Even just about random things?  Yes.  Even if it’s just a collection of fragments and phrases?  Um.. duh.  Even if thoughts are not cohesive?  Just fucking write.

And so I did.

Ending thought:  Dylan and I should visit a museum soon.