I feel like there’s so many things wrong with me lately. Cough. Colds. Period. Dysmenorrhea. Cramps. Migraine. Nose bleeds. Not to mention that thing I have to take the same time everyday. I wonder when I’d be better.
The more I look at things I want to have, the more I feel pain for the reminder that I am not that well-off. Responsibilities and obligations suddenly spurted from one side to another, and I am having a lot of trouble catching up. I wonder if the time will come when my other relatives wouldn’t have to rely on us to keep functioning. It’s not that I don’t want to help; I do. I absolutely do. It’s just that sometimes, I make a much bigger sacrifice than what they originally had in mind. Does appreciation come in a cup? I sure hope so.
I will not fail this module. Also, because I already flunked one and this is my last chance. Everything about this module is so fucking boring. My foot falls asleep every three minutes. Thank God for Ranna and the pass notes thing. At least, I am able to stay awake. It kind of worries me though, whether I can study enough or know enough to get through to the next round. I better.
I swear on my perfect ovaries that I will enroll and finish a photography refresher course before the year ends… of course, after a purchase of my lovely camera. And after learning how to drive. I can’t let my friends drive me around anymore. I’m becoming too dependent on convenience and air conditioning.
Commuting: every one I am close to at work hates it. For some reason, I missed it. I’ve been people watching a lot lately. I’m trying to come up with a good enough script for next year’s indie film festival. I am running out of characters and profiles to feature and I can’t afford that. I can’t afford to lose my creative touch. Or maybe I have lost it and this is my attempt to recover it. I aim to recover gracefully.
So, Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov is a good read. I better start reading more, especially the classics. There’s something about old English and the fullness of every word that make me want to live in their time. To be wooed by a thousand words of men that will journey halfway across the world to prove his worthiness of your heart. Ah. Beauty. So, I stopped at page 14. Can’t afford the romantic niceties. I do need to review.
I wonder if my handouts are complete. Better call Anj and check if we’re still on with Review Day binge. I hope not. Been running every other day in hopes of adding curves to my now-becoming-full body. I like it a lot. I aim to be as full as Monica Bellucci. Now, to get those boobs…
I love my boobs just the way they are. Just so we’re clear.
I do believe I will run out of tissue in about six hours.