Dear Madel

For the past months, you have gone through quite a lot.  This past week, I imagine, would have to be the hardest week of your life.  I hope, I, as a friend, can offer you some words of consolation, even though I know no words can ever suffice.

I too have lost a loved one.  My grandfather passed away a few years ago and to date, I cannot talk or write about him without bringing tears in my eyes.  He was the best man.  He was the standard.  I don’t even know how to continue describing the person I have looked up to my entire life.

It is not the same as losing a mother.  I can never understand that -my mother is still with me.  The depth of your pain and suffering cannot even compare to the pain and suffering from losing my Lolo that I refused to let go all these years.  But you see, my dear friend, this is where you can be so much more different than me.

Your mother raised strong women.  I can attest to that.  Anyone who has seen you and your sisters and the manner you all carried yourselves in spite of the constant absence of your father, fulfilling his obligation, can say with confidence you three are strong women.  So be strong now.

The longing you feel is what is painful.  The fact that you can no longer touch her or hug her or make her listen to your whims is what’s painful.  It’s the breakfast in the morning, arguments on weekends, and the endless chatter of her childhood memories that hurts most.  But that’s you.  So for it to not hurt, make it about her.

She no longer feels pain.  She is at the comfort of the One who has planned everything, even if you did one hell of a job taking good care of her.  Remember her as she laid down in her coffin, as if she’s just sleeping, relaxed and comforted that she left the world with a responsible daughter, willing and able to take her place in taking care of the family.

I hope that you will see this light, and that when you cry, you cry tears of joy because she will no longer be hurt by needles and operations and unwanted medications.  Cry because you’re so happy that she’s no longer miserable for being confined to her bed.  Cry because you’re thankful to have met such a beautiful soul who raised equally beautiful daughters.

You see, time does not cheat.  It comes when it does and the reason is often something bigger than what we can fathom.  She left you because you are ready.  All of you are.  And she has fought the fight long enough to see the day that you are ready to become the woman she has always dreamed you to be.

Be strong, my friend, for this journey is not about your pain or your sorrow.  Make this journey about your mother’s success, through you, Odessa and Tin.

You will always have my prayers.

Love, Me.


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