Just received an email from Delta, reminding me that I can check in now. I cannot believe it; I am only hours away to see Le Beau again.
My bag is hardly packed, and I literally mean bag. It’s been a little over a decade — 10 years and 2 months to be a wee bit more precise — since I last went to New Jersey, so you can only imagine all the knick knacks my clan decided to send to our families there.
That luggage guide sure is handy now. I only wish it also counted the number of items for the dailies and the undergarms.
I don’t know why I waited so long to come back. Perhaps there was not enough reason to go back. And that is not saying family is not reason enough; we’re just always used to having them here. Now, it’s a completely different story.
I remember a quote from The Last Time I Saw Mother by Arlene Chair, a quote about migrants:
Migrants, I think, are people who are never whole, never completely in one place. Ours is a fractured existence.
I think that’s completely accurate. When my cousins are here in the Philippines, we give them such a homecoming and they make no effort in hiding their joy to be back. But after a while, they start missing a part of their home too and this home starts to feel foreign. What a wave of emotions.
And maybe, since I’m being so sentimental pre-flight, in a way I am coming home too. It may not be a place, but the person sure feels like home to me.
And maybe, that’s too much romanticism for a trip, too much emotions for something that will come to an end at the boarding gate in JFK.
And maybe, that end is just the beginning. And it would mean more than just a vacation vacation.
My aunt was teasing my mom, saying that it was a dry run of things to come, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves, okay? I’m just excited that I am actually going on a vacation vacation. No school to worry about. No work. Just a quick vacation.
With Le Beau.