Just received an email from Delta, reminding me that I can check in now.  I cannot believe it; I am only hours away to see Le Beau again.

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My bag is hardly packed, and I literally mean bag.  It’s been a little over a decade — 10 years and 2 months to be a wee bit more precise — since I last went to New Jersey, so you can only imagine all the knick knacks my clan decided to send to our families there.

That luggage guide sure is handy now.  I only wish it also counted the number of items for the dailies and the undergarms.

I don’t know why I waited so long to come back.  Perhaps there was not enough reason to go back.  And that is not saying family is not reason enough; we’re just always used to having them here.  Now, it’s a completely different story.

I remember a quote from The Last Time I Saw Mother by Arlene Chair, a quote about migrants:

Migrants, I think, are people who are never whole, never completely in one place.  Ours is a fractured existence.

I think that’s completely accurate.  When my cousins are here in the Philippines, we give them such a homecoming and they make no effort in hiding their joy to be back.  But after a while, they start missing a part of their home too and this home starts to feel foreign.  What a wave of emotions.

And maybe, since I’m being so sentimental pre-flight, in a way I am coming home too.  It may not be a place, but the person sure feels like home to me.

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And maybe, that’s too much romanticism for a trip, too much emotions for something that will come to an end at the boarding gate in JFK.

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And maybe, that end is just the beginning.  And it would mean more than just a vacation vacation.

My aunt was teasing my mom, saying that it was a dry run of things to come, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves, okay?  I’m just excited that I am actually going on a vacation vacation.  No school to worry about.  No work.  Just a quick vacation.

With Le Beau.

Perfect.

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