This is not going to be a long letter. This is going to be the kind of letter that goes direct to the point only because there’s no other way to go but there. This is the kind of letter I won’t bother elaborating because I do not like you enough to make you feel comforted.
Then again you don’t know who you are. And I know his secret. And I’m going to say it. Not to break your heart or anything like that, but mostly just to say it. Because I need to say it. Because it’s the truth.
So here it goes.
He’s cheating on you. It’s not the first time he did. And you’re not the first girl he’s cheated on.
Hi. I am happy for you.
I think that’s the thing that I’ve always meant to say. To be honest, I have always felt I did you some sort of injustice, like I never was the person you deserve. You were too good for me; I was not good enough for you. So you see, I am happy for you.
It has been that long since I last saw you with such elation. And I am happy for you. You were a good friend to me, even if I can barely say the same about myself to you. You deserve to be as happy as you are. And I’m glad you took the time to be.
And I am happy for you, my dear, dear friend. The years between knowing each other were lost at some point, and it’s not really entirely on fate. I avoided you and I should not have. After all, judging by the way you knew me then and the way we talked, you were one of the closest people in my life.
And my dear dear friend, thank you for being happy for me too.
I cannot wait to tell you all about the Big Bang Bazaar that happened this weekend (and by all, I mean the good, the bad and the ugly!), but for now, I just want to know what you think.
If it’s not evident yet, I am a romantic. Hopeless sometimes, but I think most of the time hopeful. I like to think that everything has a purpose and that we were brought to where we are for a reason. But that doesn’t necessarily mean I surrender everything to fate. Some things, I make happen still. Or at least I’d like to think so.
And some things just come to me. I like imagining things, and sometimes, it almost feels like I willed myself to make something happen. Like I thought about it too much that it had no other choice to be here. Like the night I met Dylan. I said, I miss feeling something powerful. And when I first met Dylan, I was just superbly annoyed. Like amazingly annoyed for no reason whatsoever. The rest, as they say, is history.
So how about you? Do you still remember the times when it felt like you willed something to happen?
How about you finish this sentence for me then? :) It doesn’t have to be addressed to the night you met me; I don’t love myself that much (haha). Think of the night you met this person and see if you willed this person to be in your life. What were you thinking then? What were you doing? Do you think fate brought you there? Was it a coincidence? Was it purposeful? Or was it a mere happenstance?
Let’s make this your dead letter. :)
I used to be part of a LiveJournal blog group called Dead Letters, where bloggers write letters that they cannot and will not send to the recipient. These letters are considered dead because they never reach the recipient. Just thought I’d take a load off my mind for this one.
I think you forgot that you are good. That’s the problem sometimes. People forget too easily. And I think you are one of the smartest people still. But you know what’s wrong with you? You’re lazy.
You are one lazy ass. You’re so lazy, the word lazy would be insulted that I dared to attach itself to your name. You’re lazy and ungrateful. You have no idea what your mother is going through. You are lazy and ungrateful and selfish. You only think the world is unfair to you but you never seem to consider the fact that you’re being unfair to the world.
You can’t even say that poverty is a factor why you’re so demotivated. There are generations that lived and succeeded in spite of poverty. Parents were able to put their kids through college by working menial jobs. And I mean menial. Jobs that are so simple, people would rather pay them than do it themselves. But you never seem to recognize that.
I almost want to think you should be ashamed because you belong to a family of survivors. Fire, almost bankruptcy, bankruptcy, unemployment, debt — you belong to a family who never failed to make ends meet, in every way they know how, without compromising principles and beliefs. You don’t value your place in this world, and worse, you have a sense of entitlement, as if you deserve better.
Here’s what I’m saying: a lazy ungrateful selfish ass like yours should be in a much worse position than where you are now. Because the world has had enough of lazy ungrateful people. And if this is the contribution you’re giving to a fantastic family of survivors, this laziness, this kind of treatment and self-centeredness, well… I can say your family deserves better.