I know that the summer has put another mound of pressure to be skinny or at least to somehow look better in a swimsuit. So for those of you breaking your backs for that more toned physique, here’s something to think about.
Think Out Loud
If I died tonight
I think it’s a lie each time people say they can die now and they’d be okay with it. I think a person will always wonder what happened next when he/she died. How people reacted. How they looked. How they were buried. What were given away and left behind. Everything remains a wonder to a person even if he/she has already passed away.
The most difficult death I have ever had to live through was my grandfather’s. To date, I cannot talk about it without tearing up. It was just so devastating that I cannot imagine losing anyone else. And I can’t talk about it anymore because I am at work.
So yeah. If I die tonight, I want everyone to listen to Coldplay and wear something gray. I think out of all the colors, I’ve come to love gray the most. It looks so somber. Green is a close second. I am just assuming that the grass would be so lush when I am buried, so I won’t really miss it.
But really how many will cry? How many will not visit? How many will choose to give flowers? Who will choose to spend the night? It’s a question of sorts and I will be surprised if you have not asked these questions yourself.
It’s a pensive Monday morning, folks. I think it’s because the sun is frying my brain each time I walk out and I am beginning to think I can seriously die just waiting for the stoplight to change. Makati needs more trees.
Dead Letter 2
Hi. I am happy for you.
I think that’s the thing that I’ve always meant to say. To be honest, I have always felt I did you some sort of injustice, like I never was the person you deserve. You were too good for me; I was not good enough for you. So you see, I am happy for you.
It has been that long since I last saw you with such elation. And I am happy for you. You were a good friend to me, even if I can barely say the same about myself to you. You deserve to be as happy as you are. And I’m glad you took the time to be.
And I am happy for you, my dear, dear friend. The years between knowing each other were lost at some point, and it’s not really entirely on fate. I avoided you and I should not have. After all, judging by the way you knew me then and the way we talked, you were one of the closest people in my life.
And my dear dear friend, thank you for being happy for me too.
——
The wisdom of Calvin and Hobbes
So yeah. I don’t think it comes as a surprise that I am a potty mouth. I don’t think my mom will ever wake up to the day when she would approve of my potty mouthness. I don’t think there will ever be that day, in this lifetime or the next or the next.
Do you even remember the first time you said a bad word? A good ol’ PI or fuck or shit or dammit? I can. And it is that funny incident when I was in Grade 1 that led me to the guidance counselor’s office and had my parents pick me up. Yes, I got in trouble in that early of an age.
But then I wonder what would have happened if I didn’t have a healthier channel of expressing my anger. I get pretty pissy actually. If I didn’t learn cursing, I would have been…
an alcoholic/drunkard.
A drunkard. But then again, I am kind of now. But not in that big way. I'm a good drinker. Though it does happen often already.
a female bodybuilder.
Freaky muscles transforming my boobs to skin.
Or a really angry person.
Yes, I can be like this. Most of the time I'm angry.
So I guess I have to thank God’s good humor for allowing me to find cursing as a channel for my anger. I know it makes me look crass and makes people think I’m a sailor, but.. yeah. I need it.
Wisdom can come at a very young age.
See? You can learn much better things from comic strips. :)
Fairy tales and dragons
I don’t think I can ever exclude fairy tales from my future kids’ lives. I know they completely set the rules for girls to live by. They created Prince Charming, evil stepmothers, cruel stepsisters, epically perfect horses, theme songs and well, ball gowns.
I knew it wasn't always just me!
So I guess there are just some stories that would need to wait till they’re far older to determine which would be a good fairy tale and which would make a great story.
My kids will make their own stories. :)
Oh to sleep with dreams so sweet. :)
the salt of your skin 