Think Out Loud

Can you finish this sentence?

/ iamsupercarla / 3 Comments

I cannot wait to tell you all about the Big Bang Bazaar that happened this weekend (and by all, I mean the good, the bad and the ugly!), but for now, I just want to know what you think.

If it’s not evident yet, I am a romantic.  Hopeless sometimes, but I think most of the time hopeful.  I like to think that everything has a purpose and that we were brought to where we are for a reason.  But that doesn’t necessarily mean I surrender everything to fate.  Some things, I make happen still.  Or at least I’d like to think so.

And some things just come to me.  I like imagining things, and sometimes, it almost feels like I willed myself to make something happen.  Like I thought about it too much that it had no other choice to be here.  Like the night I met Dylan.  I said, I miss feeling something powerful.  And when I first met Dylan, I was just superbly annoyed.  Like amazingly annoyed for no reason whatsoever.  The rest, as they say, is history.

So how about you?  Do you still remember the times when it felt like you willed something to happen?

How about you finish this sentence for me then? :)  It doesn’t have to be addressed to the night you met me; I don’t love myself that much (haha).  Think of the night you met this person and see if you willed this person to be in your life.  What were you thinking then?  What were you doing?  Do you think fate brought you there?  Was it a coincidence?  Was it purposeful?  Or was it a mere happenstance?

Let’s make this your dead letter. :)

Recovering from the long weekend

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I cannot even begin to explain the difficulty of recovering from a long weekend.  I honestly believe I enjoyed it too much, even though all I did was watch movies.  For those who follow me on Twitter, you can so tell that I was perfectly happy with my self-imposed movie marathon.  After all, the working class don’t always get four-day vacations.  I mean, come on!  The hospitality and healthcare industry don’t even get breaks like these.  So imagine how much power I felt I had.  And I used it all up by watching movies.

I can’t say that I didn’t enjoy it, but I can say this:

It’s something that’s inherent in long vacations.  I even brought home my work laptop in hopes of completing, if not starting, some of my long laundry list of to dos, but yeah, that never really happened.  Somehow, I always end up enjoying too much of my vacation, so when reality strikes, it slaps me in the face like a scorned bitch.

Fell asleep around 9 last night, woke up at 11, fell asleep at 1 in the morning.  And I woke up at 5:30 today.  And I have no choice because Mondays are manic.  If I don’t get up or get ready soon, I am sure to have a hard time commuting to work.

So I’ve come up with three possible options:  (1) move out and live somewhere closer to work, so I wouldn’t have to commute on the day the car is not allowed by the government to be on the road, (2) loan some money and get my own car, that is of course after completing my driving lessons and overcoming my fear of being ran over by a truck and (3) convince the government how healthy and productive it is for employees when they are granted brief but frequent vacations.  Hey, a happy employee is a productive employee.

Just saying. :)  Have a great workweek, everyone.

Dead Letter 1

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I used to be part of a LiveJournal blog group called Dead Letters, where bloggers write letters that they cannot and will not send to the recipient.  These letters are considered dead because they never reach the recipient.  Just thought I’d take a load off my mind for this one.

—

I think you forgot that you are good.  That’s the problem sometimes.  People forget too easily.  And I think you are one of the smartest people still.  But you know what’s wrong with you?  You’re lazy.

You are one lazy ass.  You’re so lazy, the word lazy would be insulted that I dared to attach itself to your name.  You’re lazy and ungrateful.  You have no idea what your mother is going through.  You are lazy and ungrateful and selfish.  You only think the world is unfair to you but you never seem to consider the fact that you’re being unfair to the world.

You can’t even say that poverty is a factor why you’re so demotivated.  There are generations that lived and succeeded in spite of poverty.  Parents were able to put their kids through college by working menial jobs.  And I mean menial.  Jobs that are so simple, people would rather pay them than do it themselves.  But you never seem to recognize that.

I almost want to think you should be ashamed because you belong to a family of survivors.  Fire, almost bankruptcy, bankruptcy, unemployment, debt — you belong to a family who never failed to make ends meet, in every way they know how, without compromising principles and beliefs.  You don’t value your place in this world, and worse, you have a sense of entitlement, as if you deserve better.

Here’s what I’m saying:  a lazy ungrateful selfish ass like yours should be in a much worse position than where you are now.  Because the world has had enough of lazy ungrateful people.  And if this is the contribution you’re giving to a fantastic family of survivors, this laziness, this kind of treatment and self-centeredness, well… I can say your family deserves better.

Action reaction

/ iamsupercarla / 1 Comment

Why is the Catholic church taking it as a personal offense should the Reproductive Health Bill be made into a law? 

This has always confused me.  From what I’ve learned when I was still in school, there has always been a separation between the Church and the State.  The problem is our statesmen have never shied away from declaring their profound beliefs and faiths.  In my head, it was an evident ploy to lure in the followers of the same faith in favoring that politician.  And don’t freaking moral compass me on this one.  You can use your compass without having to declare that you are a Protestant or a Christian or a Catholic.

The lines were blurred because these politicians kept quoting the Bible, passages that they say guide them into making the laws or whatever bullshit reasoning they manage to come up with. HELL NO you do NOT get to bring the Bible on this one.

Our lawmakers create laws that will benefit the REPUBLIC.  Not their faith.  The people.  Not their co-devotees.  I have nothing against religion, but really, you’re delaying a very significant and life changing law because the Bishops don’t like it?  What the fuck is that?

Why are you keeping the Filipinos from being more informed?  It’s not a secret; PREMARITAL SEX IS PREVALENT.  It’s as common as Starbucks, as natural as sugar in coffee.  AND IT DIDN’T HAPPEN JUST IN MY GENERATION.  My generation is just more open to it.  Your generation is just hypocritic to not admit there were sex crazed teens in your time.  Prolly because it was you, prolly because the hippie era was “flowers” to you.  Ever seen the movie Forrest Gump?  Almost Famous?  That Thing You Do?  READ:  sex in hotels, drugs everywhere, not to mention casual flings and more than occasional boners.  Really?  We’re liberated? 

We’re not any more liberated than you were during your decade.  We just talk about it now.

My reaction to this piece of news is this violent because I find it so stupid to delay something as important as this.  Do you not see the number of children in the streets?  Or the number of families living under bridges, along creeks and sometimes in road islands?  OKAY LANG KAYO?  How can you think that additional beings in the country is actually beneficial to us?  HINDI NA NILA MAPAKAIN MGA SARILI NILA, GUSTO NIYO PA SILA MAG-ANAKAN? 

Some people talaga are so hibang!  Volume in manpower is only beneficial when they are HEALTHY AND EDUCATED.  The children we have now ARE NOT.  And we no longer have homes to put them in.  Adoption is not as widely promoted here as it is in Western countries, mainly because middle-class to upper-class families CANNOT AFFORD ANOTHER MOUTH TO FEED.  HOW MUCH MORE THE POOR?

My gehd.  I am so annoyed.  Obviously.  PASS THE RH BILL ALREADY.  MAKE FILIPINOS SMARTER AND MAKE THE FILIPINO FAMILY MORE ABLE.  GIVE THEM THE ELBOW ROOM THEY NEED TO PROVIDE FOR THE REST OF THEIR MEMBERS.

Hindi yung anak lang ng anak everywhere and we’ll all sing that the children are our future.  Wala ngang bahay o damit o pagkain, future future ka pa jan. 

Leche.  Mga bobo.  Ugh.

The challenge of keeping the faith

/ iamsupercarla / 3 Comments

It’s all over the news now.  Another bombing has left the Filipinos in a state of disbelief.  I’m going to be honest:  when Lala Flores’ daughter Danica Magpantay won the Ford Supermodel of the Year 2011, I had hopes of the Philippines being the highlight of southeast Asia, having natural beauties and unaltered realities win competitions like this.

Then I remember the carnappings.  Then the oil price hike.  Then the fact that another journalist was slain, the 142nd media killing since 1986.  Then the littlest and biggest of issues in cyberspace, where apparently opinions are paid for.  Then the hope fizzled.

For those who follow me on Twitter, I bet you would notice that as each tragedy is reported in the news, my automatic response is that I am saddened that this is the place I have to bring my kids to.  And this is not to say that I am pregnant (because I am not) or that I am planning to be (because I am not).  I say so because it is the fact:  this is the world we are going to bring our kids to.

And it’s days like these when it’s so hard to keep the faith.  That the human being, the person, the individual will exercise his free will and choose intellect and wisdom over misdirected passions.  That the government will fund better education so this kind of thinking — blowing up buses and shit — will not be the main exhibition of dismay and disagreement. 

But sometimes, faith can just take you so far.  I am seriously afraid that my niece Chuchi will grow up at a time when buses just spontaneously explode and prices spike overnight and her necklace will be snatched as she walks to school and her favorite broadcaster will die before she ever gets to meet him/her.  I am afraid that my future child will have questions as to why people kill people, why Mindanao is the richest in natural resources and yet we can’t find peace with them, why the government is richer than the people, why she is in so much debt at the very moment she’s born.  And I won’t have the answers.

I used to find equanimity when Oscar nods are announced, thinking that the arts is something that people can still count on, that bodies like the Academy will always celebrate the good in people.  But last night was extra difficult, especially when at 2 in the morning, the bus bomb death toll rose to 5.

So you see, it’s really challenging… keeping the faith.  Right now, my only prayer would have to be for the strength to rise to it.