S/HE SAID: I need something to be good

March 18, 2015April 12, 2015 / iamsupercarla / 6 Comments

Credit: Bob D'Amico/ABC © 2014 American Broadcasting Companies, Inc. Photo: Owen Hunt (Kevin McKidd)

I need something to be good. I need something to feel right. OK? I’m not depressed. My heart is not broken. I’m not grieving. She’s not dead. She’s out there. She’s living out her dreams. And I know, I know she’s happy. And that makes me feel proud for her. But there is this other feeling that doesn’t completely feel fair. Or right. Or good. She goes on day in and day out, happy without me. And every morning I wake up and there’s this pit, this feeling here that maybe my dreams are over. Maybe, maybe I had my dreams, and they’re over now. And I’m going to be this single guy. No wife, no kids, no family. She was my family. And now she’s someplace else, and I let her go. And it’s good that I did. I mean, it’s better for her. But for me… So I need something to be good. I need a reason to get up every morning, to not crawl back in that cave that I was in before I met her. You know she saved me. You were there. You remember how I was. I was dark. That war made me dark. And that darkness, it is still in me. She just lit it up. So I just thought, I just thought, maybe to beat back that darkness, I would be something good. I would do something good.

— Owen Hunt, Grey’s Anatomy, Season 11 Episode 3

No more room for TWD

March 5, 2015 / iamsupercarla / 1 Comment

Le Beau is absolutely in love with this show. For me, though, when I heard zombie apocalypse, I just never ever ever steered anywhere near it. Until he convinced me to.

Let me give you a quick background about me and TV shows: I invest in them, they invest in me. Whenever I pick a TV show to watch, I get involved. I collect quotes, go to fan fiction sites, read up reviews, offer theories, suggest new storylines. Yup. I invest in them as they invest in me. And being a Grey’s Anatomy fan, you can only imagine how emotionally drained I am by now. You don’t get to 11 seasons without deaths and lowests of lows here and there.

And then The Walking Dead. Oh dear Lord how I wish it was just about zombies. More and more people are complaining that it’s becoming too dramatic, and I have to agree to that. It just went from scary to gross, the effects I mean.

But…. I love drama. And compelling dialogue. And those facial reactions that speaks soliloquies. Then, just like in Shondaland, AMC kills them off one by one.

(Of course, I looked up the comics. Of course I know who’s next. Of course I am utterly destroyed. I love that character.)

So before I immerse (yet again) in predictions as to how they will play out the second half of this season, have fun with these quotables. I know I did.

The Walking Dead - Beth

The Walking Dead - Glen Hershel

The Walking Dead - Michonne

The Walking Dead - Andrea

The Walking Dead - Rick

The Walking Dead - Lori

The Walking Dead - Carol

The Walking Dead - Daryl

I would like to thank the beautiful world of Tumblr and Pinterest for being my resources.

Are you invested in this show too?

You didn’t love her

February 17, 2015 / iamsupercarla / 1 Comment

Greys Anatomy

Found

August 30, 2014August 30, 2014 / iamsupercarla / Leave a comment

Luke 19:10

Getting ready

August 20, 2014August 20, 2014 / iamsupercarla / Leave a comment

Just received an email from Delta, reminding me that I can check in now. I cannot believe it; I am only hours away to see Le Beau again.

Via lustingdownthewonderroadsofearth.tumblr.com

My bag is hardly packed, and I literally mean bag. It’s been a little over a decade — 10 years and 2 months to be a wee bit more precise — since I last went to New Jersey, so you can only imagine all the knick knacks my clan decided to send to our families there.

That luggage guide sure is handy now. I only wish it also counted the number of items for the dailies and the undergarms.

I don’t know why I waited so long to come back. Perhaps there was not enough reason to go back. And that is not saying family is not reason enough; we’re just always used to having them here. Now, it’s a completely different story.

I remember a quote from The Last Time I Saw Mother by Arlene Chair, a quote about migrants:

Migrants, I think, are people who are never whole, never completely in one place. Ours is a fractured existence.

I think that’s completely accurate. When my cousins are here in the Philippines, we give them such a homecoming and they make no effort in hiding their joy to be back. But after a while, they start missing a part of their home too and this home starts to feel foreign. What a wave of emotions.

And maybe, since I’m being so sentimental pre-flight, in a way I am coming home too. It may not be a place, but the person sure feels like home to me.

Via fuckyeahlongdistancelove.tumblr.com

And maybe, that’s too much romanticism for a trip, too much emotions for something that will come to an end at the boarding gate in JFK.

Via Pinterest

And maybe, that end is just the beginning. And it would mean more than just a vacation vacation.

My aunt was teasing my mom, saying that it was a dry run of things to come, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves, okay? I’m just excited that I am actually going on a vacation vacation. No school to worry about. No work. Just a quick vacation.

With Le Beau.

Perfect.