Hi Tatay,

Did you know that Roger Ebert died today?  It’s one of the saddest news I’ve heard this week.  Well, apart from everyone missing you.

I don’t think I ever talked to you about my fascination for movies and films.  I could go through lengths just explaining the difference, but for you they only mean one thing:  expensive seats.  You’ve always been the television guy.  You like to be in the moment; I on the other hand like to escape.

Anyway, he’s my favorite critic.  He died because his cancer returned.  Just when he announced his leave of presence, he really left the earth.  He was quite graceful in his last words too.

But I bet no one will be as graceful as you.

I was reading through this article when I saw this comment that just made me tear up:

I know you’re free.  You feel no more pain.  Your soul has become bigger than your body that it was called by the Master sooner than we all wanted too.

But often I wonder at what point in my life will I ever be at peace with your passing.  I know you are; in your eyes, we’re all good, we’re all right, it’s okay for you to go.  In my heart, I know I have left you out of so much in my life, refused to share it all with you, or give you everything you deserved, that I will just be living with the pain of losing you too early in my life.

I wanted you to walk me down the aisle as I marry the man who loves me the most.  Well, second to you.  No one will ever love me like you do.  They can only try to.

I’m so happy Ted caught your moment when we first saw the majestic Palawan.  I swear you have never looked so breathless in awe.

And I am so thankful to have witnessed your moment of complete freedom and abandon, even just once in my life.

I miss you.  Every day.  I wish to be free from this pain too.  Help me, won’t you?