Think Out Loud

One random thought after another

/ iamsupercarla / Leave a comment

I feel like there’s so many things wrong with me lately.  Cough.  Colds.  Period.  Dysmenorrhea.  Cramps.  Migraine.  Nose bleeds.  Not to mention that thing I have to take the same time everyday.  I wonder when I’d be better.

The more I look at things I want to have, the more I feel pain for the reminder that I am not that well-off.  Responsibilities and obligations suddenly spurted from one side to another, and I am having a lot of trouble catching up.  I wonder if the time will come when my other relatives wouldn’t have to rely on us to keep functioning.  It’s not that I don’t want to help; I do.  I absolutely do.  It’s just that sometimes, I make a much bigger sacrifice than what they originally had in mind.  Does appreciation come in a cup?  I sure hope so.

I will not fail this module.  Also, because I already flunked one and this is my last chance.  Everything about this module is so fucking boring.  My foot falls asleep every three minutes.  Thank God for Ranna and the pass notes thing.  At least, I am able to stay awake.  It kind of worries me though, whether I can study enough or know enough to get through to the next  round.  I better.

I swear on my perfect ovaries that I will enroll and finish a photography refresher course before the year ends… of course, after a purchase of my lovely camera.  And after learning how to drive.  I can’t let my friends drive me around anymore.  I’m becoming too dependent on convenience and air conditioning.

Commuting:  every one I am close to at work hates it.  For some reason, I missed it.  I’ve been people watching a lot lately.  I’m trying to come up with a good enough script for next year’s indie film festival.  I am running out of characters and profiles to feature and I can’t afford that.  I can’t afford to lose my creative touch.  Or maybe I have lost it and this is my attempt to recover it.  I aim to recover gracefully.

What’s up?!

So, Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov is a good read.  I better start reading more, especially the classics.  There’s something about old English and the fullness of every word that make me want to live in their time.  To be wooed by a thousand words of men that will journey halfway across the world to prove his worthiness of your heart.  Ah.  Beauty.  So, I stopped at page 14.  Can’t afford the romantic niceties.  I do need to review.

I wonder if my handouts are complete.  Better call Anj and check if we’re still on with Review Day binge.  I hope not.  Been running every other day in hopes of adding curves to my now-becoming-full body.  I like it a lot.  I aim to be as full as Monica Bellucci.  Now, to get those boobs…

I love my boobs just the way they are.  Just so we’re clear.

I do believe I will run out of tissue in about six hours.

I feel my eyes drying up because of the heat and the cold

/ iamsupercarla / Leave a comment

I was supposed to update this thing a long time ago, but because of the endless assignments recently, you must forgive me for not being able to update more.

The good thing is I managed to find a way to cope with the stress at work:  I run.  Well, not exactly run.  More like, runjogwalkveryslowlythenwalkveryfast kind of exercise.  It’s not really a new thing; there really was a time when I did this thing religiously.  But I rediscovered my habit for smoking so it  took me a while to get back to running.  Of course, the expensive running shoes and core workout gear urged me to use my well spent money well, so here I am running.

I didn’t expect it to be that hard to get back though.  Each time I look in the mirror, I seem to appear wider than usual.  It’s quite disturbing actually, but what the heck.  I knew I was starting to be complacent and beginning to let myself go when I started becoming satisfied with unusual sizes — the one between medium and large — and never really fitting anywhere. So there.  I hope to get back on track before August.

Early this week, I started creating this worksheet that maps my savings and expenses.  I’m planning to open another savings account, just to make it harder for me to spend my money.  I’m hoping it would work.

On a totally different note, I know that Tiger has been posting!  And not letting us read it!  Grrr.  So unfair.  (Though I am not as diligent to write every day, I do make everything public.  But then again who am I to require disclosure from everyone who visits this page?)

So… there.  I have a pile of paperwork waiting for me and I just can’t wait to not attend to it.  Ha.  Yeah.  I’m lazy like that. :)

I’m looking at the bright side and balancing the whole thing

/ iamsupercarla / 4 Comments

So here’s what happened lately.

  • Just finished the Treasury module.  It has to be the fastest module I’ve ever had (or at least so far) because it only lasted 28 days.
  • Final exams suck!  It was a flurry of confused and mismatched answers to questions I obviously know the answer to but because I actually studied passionately, I overanalyzed everything and well, the rest is the rest.
  • The bourse game was much more enjoyable than expected.
  • Our group became the highest gainer!  Profit of 96M baby!
  • Our group rocked the presentation.  Unrehearsed.  Completely unrehearsed.  But there was no downtime, no pauses, no nothing.  Just smooth sailing presentation of results.
  • Our group got the best score ever:  1.

Judging by those events, I bet you can tell that I’ve been having a good kick off to this other half of the module.  What’s funny though is how I’ve performed in treasury is the complete opposite of how I’ve performed in finance.  Tiger was right; I can start strong again.  *relish feel good moment here*

Credit module started just this week.  Quite grueling on the onset since from the looks of it, this will be our office delegation once we finish the program, notwithstanding the fact that you have to memorize 85% of everything so you can use them in application, which is about 15%.  It’s all about rules and policies and guidelines now, given that this talks about the money the bank could be raking in.  I hope to survive this one better than my treasury survival.  *insert meditation pose here*

And although this weekend basically sucked because I cancelled a beach trip for a family trip that never materialized, I’m still happy.  My brothers seemed to be more clingy than usual, and indulged my fancies by asking me to help them shop for their clothes.  Five hours later, we ended up with numerous shopping bags, 19 purchased items and a bill of less than 5,000.  You gotta love end of season sales. :)

I am looking forward to a trip with the circle to Mindoro.  I bet that would be a blast.  It’s going to be my first ever out of town trip with people that are not my family.  Hahahaha.  I know it’s so loser-ish for me to declare it like that, but what can I say?  The truth bug bit me and its venom seeped through my veins.  Now, I just have to lose 10 pounds in about 4 weeks and I believe I’ll be okay. :)