There was something artsy and fartsy in that small room

July 16, 2010July 16, 2010 / iamsupercarla / Leave a comment

After the Cinemalaya masturbation (or rather before that), I went in their gift shoppe. I don’t remember the last time I actually bought a souvenir for an event or a place I’ve attended or been to. So I went ahead and bought three pins. I just don’t know where I am supposed to use them because right after purchasing them, I remembered that my company stifles creativity when it comes to office attire and decorum. We’re not even entitled to casual Fridays yet, coz we’re still trainees. Either way, I’m happy I got them.

I guess I wanted to make sure I still have my creativity in my hands. Or at least it is still reflected in my choices. Sometimes, it feels like all I’ve been making are bad choices. It’s good to know that sometimes, I make good ones.

I got sad. For a while, I got really sad. Because I realized that I am very upset and disappointed. I realized how upset I was, I realized how angry I was. It happened when I was sitting on the train to Cubao, with half my things in tow, preparing for a meeting that wouldn’t happen. It happened when I realized I would rather commute all the way to Quezon City than see your face.

I would rather endure discomfort than be reminded that you, the person I have cared for more than I cared for myself my entire life, refuse to see how you have hurt me. And how you have left me when I actually needed you. And how you made it seem about your God forsaken situation. And how you chose to not apologize. And how you can just go on without apologizing.

It disappoints me because I thought we were more than that. It disappoints me because I’m the only one who can see where I stand. I am forced to understand you because they think kulang ka, they think you’re the one who needs more understanding. I, who have held you on high esteem, who have defended your critical thinking, am the one left biting the dust that should not have been there in the first place.

Too bad, so sad. Moving on now. If you’re doing it, then I’m doing it too. No need to go back to something that used to exist. There is a reason why it doesn’t exist anymore. Oh well.

That’s all. Kthxbye.

It was May in July

July 11, 2010July 17, 2010 / iamsupercarla / 1 Comment

Jerome invited me and Anj for some cultural bathing at the 6th Cinemalaya Independent Film Festival in Cultural Center of the Philippines. I remember the first time I went there and digested my first load of indie films. It was quite exhilarating to see everything five years after. It was almost like a commencement of sorts. Like coming to full circle.

And of course, I met the two people who ignited my love for films, Johnathan Rondina (whom I ran into at Mocha Blends by Harbor Square) and our thesis adviser, Flordeliz Abanto, who is know the president of PACE (Philippine Association of Communication Educators). We had quite a chat and she was exactly the same, the passionate teacher who knows the arts can change the way you see the world. It was great to feel the passion I know I’ve lost.

Aldrich was able to join in. We miss the Chinaman what can we say. Adah, having nothing to do, tagged along too. It was quite a spontaneous afternoon. We were dejected though when we didn’t get to see the short films Jerome wanted to see. But we did get to see Mayohan by Dan Villegas, screenplay by Paul Sta. Ana.

Mayohan is led by Lovi Poe and Elijah Castillo and the setting is Infanta, Quezon. Lilibeth (Poe) is a 19-year-old lass of the province, coordinating the May-End Dance. Niño (Castillo) is a 15-year-old binatilyo from Cubao, coming for a visit to his grandmother with his aunt. Amidst the festivities, he becomes the focal point of the town’s Dance.

The film was a good tickler. It had the right mix of comedy and melancholy love affair that happens only to teenagers and only during summer. Even the rain had a sweet, loving touch to the film. It reminded me of Red Shoes, with the sincerity of the boy’s admiration exhibited silently and loudly at the same time till the very last minute.

Poe’s acting is what surprised me the most. It’s not that it was compelling and moving; it was the fact that it was just right. She played the lovely lady in the barrio who didn’t really know or care that she’s the prettiest of them all. She was strong and delicate at the same time, which is why Castillo’s charming young gentleman demeanor always felt the need to protect her and look after her. And Ping Medina?! Let’s just say he coined the next best catch phrase after Joey Tribiani’s “How you doin’?” So, “hel-lo.” :)

The last I’ve heard of Infanta was when it was struck by tragedy. The cinematography managed to capture the beauty of that deluge. The lush greens, the refreshing water… even the brown murky sand seemed to play a vital role in courting Lilibeth. It was almost like the entire production staff coordinated the entire locality to look ordinary and verbose all at the same time.

For the first time in 11 months, I didn’t like the fact that I lived in Quezon City. The festival will run till July 18, and I really want to watch the gala nights for the other films. I guess a part of me want to see if the people we interviewed five years ago are still the same people inspiring the newest breed of writers and directors to change the Philippine film industry standard.

And of course, to see if I made a big enough impact to their lives (like they did in mine) and they remember me too.

For a complete schedule of the festivities, click here.

Photo credits:
Mayohan Facebook page

Old songs bring me back to life

July 10, 2010December 26, 2013 / iamsupercarla / 2 Comments

So this past week was very triumphant. My partner Vicky and I went and explored Cabatuan, Iloilo and discovered the silence of the people there. And by silent I mean really silent. Their quiet demeanor spoke volumes, and sometimes became very hard to interpret. Nonetheless, we enjoyed our stay and could not be more thankful to be back in Manila.

This is Cabatuan’s famous church, San Nicolas de Tolentino. Picturesque isn’t it?

I received a lot of good news this week. I am so close to thinking that my luck is just about to run out. I am so blessed, it’s sickening. It kind of makes me think what I did to deserve such good fortune.

Then I went home and showered to this song. I almost forgot how haunting this song is, and how it spoke to me when I first heard it in high school.

if your hope scatters like the dust across your track / i’ll be the moon that shines on your path

What a mistake.

July 6, 2010 / iamsupercarla / Leave a comment

15 hours before a big defense, I decided to have my tooth pulled out.

Almost a stupider mistake? Keeping the freaking tooth. :))

Anyway, I would so love to keep this shirt. HAVE this shirt actually. I’m thinking of doing back flips too. Though I do believe this shirt is way too morbid for daily use.