Back to regular programming

So the last three weeks came and went, and I am now back in the Philippines.  As much as it breaks our hearts (hyuck), Le Beau and I are back to regular programming, Facetime and iMessaging forever.

But then I cannot deny the joy of dating him for the last three weeks.  It was absolutely divine.

What I am most enthused about is the time I spent with my nephews and nieces.  I don’t think I would have gotten to know them well if I didn’t take this vacation.  I now have new breakfast buddies and new park buddies.

Breakfast with Miko and Marcky

Juliana Louise and Myah Alyssa

Lily and Madie

I got to take care of the youngest member in the family, the beautiful and fast-growing Olivia Mackenzie.

With Olivia

I am so ecstatic to be part of this memory.  I remember her visit from last year.  She welcomed me from work, I came home past lunch time.  The first thing she said, “You’re not in iPad anymore!”  Ah, Lily.  <3

Lily's First Day

I met Le Beau’s best friend and his family.

The Almanzars

I never imagined that I will be back in this house after ten years.

Yale

But then again, I never imagined this either.

Love and I

Life sure knows how to surprise you.

Back to you

I feel quite compelled to explain my absence, especially when I just started posting more regularly than before.  Mostly, I’ve been quite busy commuting from Manila, Philippines to New Jersey, USA.

With a trip that was 10 years in the making, August 21, 2014 marks as Le Beau’s first time picking me up at the airport purposely.  I’m quite thankful for my mom and my boss for helping me afford the long time off in time for Le Beau’s birthday.  I’m ecstatic how things have fallen in place.

Carlallan at JFK

It is quite annoying that Delta forgot to load my luggage along with others in the DTW-JFK leg.  But who am I to complain?  The string of good and blessed fortune just keeps coming; I can only be humbled by it.

I didn’t really announce to most people that I am going on this trip.  In the process, I missed at least two grad school parties, a get-together with my management trainee batchmates, and a handful of end of season sales in the Philippines, when I usually shop for holiday gifts.

Not to brag or anything, but it’s pretty much worth it.

Carlallan at Goethals Bridge

Whilst I continue to battle jet lag and the ceaseless energy my nephews and nieces have, I will do my best to update the blog and not bombard it with the cheese that is ever present throughout my stay.

A good friend said I am in cloud nine.  In my opinion, clouds are an understatement.

❤️❤️❤️

Getting ready

Just received an email from Delta, reminding me that I can check in now.  I cannot believe it; I am only hours away to see Le Beau again.

Via lustingdownthewonderroadsofearth.tumblr.com

Via lustingdownthewonderroadsofearth.tumblr.com

My bag is hardly packed, and I literally mean bag.  It’s been a little over a decade — 10 years and 2 months to be a wee bit more precise — since I last went to New Jersey, so you can only imagine all the knick knacks my clan decided to send to our families there.

That luggage guide sure is handy now.  I only wish it also counted the number of items for the dailies and the undergarms.

I don’t know why I waited so long to come back.  Perhaps there was not enough reason to go back.  And that is not saying family is not reason enough; we’re just always used to having them here.  Now, it’s a completely different story.

I remember a quote from The Last Time I Saw Mother by Arlene Chair, a quote about migrants:

Migrants, I think, are people who are never whole, never completely in one place.  Ours is a fractured existence.

I think that’s completely accurate.  When my cousins are here in the Philippines, we give them such a homecoming and they make no effort in hiding their joy to be back.  But after a while, they start missing a part of their home too and this home starts to feel foreign.  What a wave of emotions.

And maybe, since I’m being so sentimental pre-flight, in a way I am coming home too.  It may not be a place, but the person sure feels like home to me.

Via fuckyeahlongdistancelove.tumblr.com

Via fuckyeahlongdistancelove.tumblr.com

And maybe, that’s too much romanticism for a trip, too much emotions for something that will come to an end at the boarding gate in JFK.

Via Pinterest

Via Pinterest

And maybe, that end is just the beginning.  And it would mean more than just a vacation vacation.

My aunt was teasing my mom, saying that it was a dry run of things to come, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves, okay?  I’m just excited that I am actually going on a vacation vacation.  No school to worry about.  No work.  Just a quick vacation.

With Le Beau.

Perfect.

Via Pinterest

Via Pinterest

Before/After

Meet Buggy.

Buggy

 

She first belonged to Le Beau’s older brother.  I remember seeing this car for the first time in 2004.  They picked us up — me and my cousin — from the house in Elizabeth for a movie night.

He said my cousin was teasing him about me, even before I arrived in New Jersey.  He was hesitant; he was already chatting up a girl and it was going well.  He caught a glimpse of me from the front door.

We, plus the middle brother and another good friend, caught Man on Fire at Loews.  He sat a couple of seats away from me.  It was a great movie.

After, he and his brother drove my cousin and I back to Elizabeth.  We were at the back seat.  He casually said, “You smell nice.”  It was oddly weird.  Or adorably weird.  I think it was more of the latter because three days later, we got together.  A year after, it was his turn to fly to Manila and spend a month with my family.

It ended a few more months after that visit.  We tried to be friends at first but it never really worked out.  I constantly checked on him from time to time, as networking moved from Friendster to Facebook.  He seemed good.  I stopped checking.

A year after breaking up, his brother married my cousin.  We were paired up in the entourage.  I was with someone else already.

Seven years later, two weeks after I buried my father, he came back to Manila, with his brother, my cousin and their daughter for a short visit.  Three days later, he asked why we we’re not together.  When he left after 10 days, I realized I never really answered that question.

My seven-year relationship ended bitterly and dirtily.  I cried too long, he kept me company.  As much as he was helping me through the breakup, he was still asking why we’re not together.

I tried to date around, but he was still there, asking why we’re not together.

I was in the middle of graduate school, and he kept asking.  He was persistent.  Consistent.  Like a man with a mission.

Before that year ended, he asked again, “Why are we not together?”  I finally replied, “I have no idea.”  Then, it was like 2004 all over again.

Fifteen weeks later, while walking out of the baggage claim area in Charles de Gaulle Airport, I saw him again.  It was the best surprise of my life.

It was the best ten days after what seemed to be the worst and longest last 18 months of my life.

Two academic terms and pile after pile of workload after, I stare at my computer screen with unbelieving eyes. MNL NRT DTW JFK.

Six days. And I get to see him with Buggy again.

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I have been looking for an opportunity to tell this story in this blog because this is the happiest I have ever been in my entire life.  I would liked to thank the Daily Post for inspiring me.  

And to my readers, may the Buggy you deserve come (back) to you. :)