Went to the UP Fair last night with the few good men (and women) left in the program.  It was quite an eventful evening.  Although a part of me wishes that Dylan came with us, a part of me is also glad that he didn’t.  In the first place, I was already in the company of good people; he can easily make it better by coming  to me. :)

It was a rock and orchestra theme.  I knew I wanted to be there because there was this band called Silent Sanctuary playing that night.  I remember that band in college, mainly because the violinist, Chino, used to date a friend of mine.  They kept in touch but because of their rise to fame (which they worked very hard for three years — very well deserved fame), we hardly see them anymore.  But it was an event almost two years ago that drew me to them.  Chino’s ex, my friend, Kwen Orqueta passed away.

It wasn’t a silent passing.  It was even featured on the news.  

I remember the wake, and the nights before the funeral, when my friends and I crammed every single picture of her in our minds and tried to come up with a video that would best represent her.  She was life.  She was the epitome of youth, and she was great.  She, too, was gone too soon.

I don’t think my friends and I have been this heartbroken before.  

Then, a few days after the funeral, Silent Sanctuary debuted their latest video, "Ingat Ka."  And they dedicated it to Kwen.

I briefly separated from the group to watch them play last night, and when Chino started plucking the first few notes on his violin, and the orchestra, and Sarkie’s voice, and the people… I was moved.  It felt so bad to be there, like Kwen should be there.  She loved music, the people, the party, the band.  She loved them all and she loved them best.  As they belted out the lyrics to the song, I saw her face everywhere and I couldn’t keep myself from tearing up.  

I love that girl and I love how the song manages to be about that girl without having to be so loud.  I love the feeling of being immersed in music.  I love the moment between being there and floating away.  I love that melancholy feeling, the natural high, the kind that makes you drift off without being really gone, the feeling of just being part of the music.  I don’t think I’ve ever felt that for a long time.

Last night’s feeling was so good, I managed to bring it with me the entire day today.  I woke up at 10 in the morning, got up at 2 in the afternoon and spoke at 5:30 while doing the grocery.  I want to be enchanted like that again.  I need to be enchanted like that again.  The program managed to shift me away from the arts I so dearly loved that one night of reunion completely reminded me why I loved it in the first place.

So I reiterate my resolution:  my life will be filled of music again.  I don’t care if people say it’s jologs or very manly or too consuming or too loud.  It’s music.  And it’s something I have loved for a long time.  It felt good, to be that in love again.  But I think what really made the night great was to realize I never fell out of love with it in the first place.

Oh yes.  I will be a gigster once again.  I don’t care if I fly solo or with a group.  I just want to float again.