I took a trip down memory lane and decided to reread all of the little things we were able to collect on PACE. Apparently, I was (am?) that nice. People really seemed to genuinely like me. I can feel them changing their mind though. Hahaha.
One of the notes read, "Your CONGRATULATIONS! never fail to lift my spirits and boost my confidence." Looking back, I don’t know why I stopped saying that. It used to make me feel better too. I don’t remember when was the last time I said it. In one of my old notes, it read that the phrase made me feel like I am cheering my peers on, and that in turn, I cheer myself on. It gave the much needed boost and laughter that most of us tend to forget, especially when buried with inches and inches of reading.
Somewhere along the way, I believe the word just lost its meaning and its effect on people. It started to appear and sound shallow, and most of the time, quite undeserved, even if people refuse to admit it. I think I still say that from time to time, but the lack of frequency showed just when it should be heard — when you actually worked hard for it.
There are a lot of baby notes here. One even thanked me for being a cheesy friend that never failed to make him happy and comfortable. One thanked me for my ability to listen intently to their stories, encouraging them to speak more. One thanked cigarettes (oh my I wonder who that is LOL) for giving us time to bond. One flattered me the most: that I am the glue that holds everyone together. *insert tear here*
I think I’ve forgotten how well I was doing. I think I got scared with the things I didn’t initially know, so it hampered my ability to absorb what was being taught. I made myself weak because from the looks of it, I started strong.
So maybe, I should say CONGRATULATIONS more.
The cactus I got from Baguio after our PACE workshop.
Yes it is still very much alive.