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Choices would define your tomorrow

/ iamsupercarla / 2 Comments

It’s election season and the tension in the air is undeniable.  As I wait for my church’s decision on who to vote for, I feel quite pressured to have not made a choice on my own.  For some reason, it’s the fact that someone else is making this big decision for me actually gives me an overwhelming sense of relief.

I think that has always been an issue, letting the church decide for me.  Everyone would say the right to vote is the ultimate right of a citizen, and I agree with that, but they also strongly disagree with my  participation in block voting.  The chances of the church picking a candidate a completely despise is higher than the chances of them picking the candidate I’ve been eyeing for the past months.  I don’t think everyone would be this willing to participate in such a practice and I just want to say why I’m participating in it.

I believe in the greater good.  That’s basically it.  All my life, I have been a devoted member of my church and my concerns for the majority of our members now outweigh my concerns for myself.  It might seem selfish to some; after all, our congregation is not the country’s majority.  But the faith I have in our church leaders to make the right choices have not failed me nor the members of our church.  I don’t see how this would change now.

Here’s a rundown of the presidents we’ve voted for in the past years:

  • Danding Cojuangco – but FVR won this one.  We all know the story.
  • Joseph Estrada – His platform for food production and peace talks with MILF might have been the factors mainly considered by our church in the process of selection.  Sadly, he was overpowered and "overinfluenced" by those around him, hence the sad ending.  Do I still think he was a good president?  Yes.  He just stole.  Just like everyone else.  Difference is, he’s the only one who got caught.
  • Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo – Her strong vision for economic reform is hands-down a winning factor.  It’s just too bad that she was not born with even a smidgen of charm and wit, which explains why she was never appealing to the masses nor to the press.  Which would explain why she was never able to explain how progress works (slowly).  Which would explain why her detractors were never diminished in numbers.

Am I saying I know the exact reasons and factors that our church considers before selecting a national leader?  No.  These reasons are results of my self-debates and speculation.  I do not know what they consider, but what I do know is that I have agreed to every choice they have made.

Will I be a block voter still even if I don’t see the reasons for choosing this particular person?  Yes.  Because I believe my church will not do me harm.

So to the rest, vote wisely.  I am lucky to be blessed by a group of men and women who only think of my well-being.  Not everyone has that same blessing. 

I feel my eyes drying up because of the heat and the cold

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I was supposed to update this thing a long time ago, but because of the endless assignments recently, you must forgive me for not being able to update more.

The good thing is I managed to find a way to cope with the stress at work:  I run.  Well, not exactly run.  More like, runjogwalkveryslowlythenwalkveryfast kind of exercise.  It’s not really a new thing; there really was a time when I did this thing religiously.  But I rediscovered my habit for smoking so it  took me a while to get back to running.  Of course, the expensive running shoes and core workout gear urged me to use my well spent money well, so here I am running.

I didn’t expect it to be that hard to get back though.  Each time I look in the mirror, I seem to appear wider than usual.  It’s quite disturbing actually, but what the heck.  I knew I was starting to be complacent and beginning to let myself go when I started becoming satisfied with unusual sizes — the one between medium and large — and never really fitting anywhere. So there.  I hope to get back on track before August.

Early this week, I started creating this worksheet that maps my savings and expenses.  I’m planning to open another savings account, just to make it harder for me to spend my money.  I’m hoping it would work.

On a totally different note, I know that Tiger has been posting!  And not letting us read it!  Grrr.  So unfair.  (Though I am not as diligent to write every day, I do make everything public.  But then again who am I to require disclosure from everyone who visits this page?)

So… there.  I have a pile of paperwork waiting for me and I just can’t wait to not attend to it.  Ha.  Yeah.  I’m lazy like that. :)

I can’t seem to catch up with my own self

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Now that we have some downtime, or rather self-imposed free time, I can now update the things that have been bothering me lately.

We finally told Lola.  I think out of all the people we told, she was the one who took it best.  Though her actions showed just how upset she was, she never made anyone feel that she’s the one to take care of.  It was quite a relief to see the matriarch of the family taking things the rational way.  It was just a bummer that Marga wasn’t there.  It would have been  better if she was there to reassure Lola that she’s okay, in spite of what happened.

I don’t know how to go about this really.  I do know one thing though:  I have stopped  being responsible for her.  This decision made her responsible for herself.  It’s a complete change of pace to see her actually step up to the plate.  So I guess our little girl is now a lady.  What a way to become a lady though.

Dylan… well.  He continuously surprises me every day.  I don’t think he surprised me this much before.  The support, the care… it was like he fell all over again.  Though there was admittedly a huge rush of family drama yet again, I believe he has become more graceful than I expected.  This time, he was handling things, and not letting me handle him.

Will update more later.

I’m looking at the bright side and balancing the whole thing

/ iamsupercarla / 4 Comments

So here’s what happened lately.

  • Just finished the Treasury module.  It has to be the fastest module I’ve ever had (or at least so far) because it only lasted 28 days.
  • Final exams suck!  It was a flurry of confused and mismatched answers to questions I obviously know the answer to but because I actually studied passionately, I overanalyzed everything and well, the rest is the rest.
  • The bourse game was much more enjoyable than expected.
  • Our group became the highest gainer!  Profit of 96M baby!
  • Our group rocked the presentation.  Unrehearsed.  Completely unrehearsed.  But there was no downtime, no pauses, no nothing.  Just smooth sailing presentation of results.
  • Our group got the best score ever:  1.

Judging by those events, I bet you can tell that I’ve been having a good kick off to this other half of the module.  What’s funny though is how I’ve performed in treasury is the complete opposite of how I’ve performed in finance.  Tiger was right; I can start strong again.  *relish feel good moment here*

Credit module started just this week.  Quite grueling on the onset since from the looks of it, this will be our office delegation once we finish the program, notwithstanding the fact that you have to memorize 85% of everything so you can use them in application, which is about 15%.  It’s all about rules and policies and guidelines now, given that this talks about the money the bank could be raking in.  I hope to survive this one better than my treasury survival.  *insert meditation pose here*

And although this weekend basically sucked because I cancelled a beach trip for a family trip that never materialized, I’m still happy.  My brothers seemed to be more clingy than usual, and indulged my fancies by asking me to help them shop for their clothes.  Five hours later, we ended up with numerous shopping bags, 19 purchased items and a bill of less than 5,000.  You gotta love end of season sales. :)

I am looking forward to a trip with the circle to Mindoro.  I bet that would be a blast.  It’s going to be my first ever out of town trip with people that are not my family.  Hahahaha.  I know it’s so loser-ish for me to declare it like that, but what can I say?  The truth bug bit me and its venom seeped through my veins.  Now, I just have to lose 10 pounds in about 4 weeks and I believe I’ll be okay. :)

 

Kicking off the week is a great kick off.

/ iamsupercarla / 2 Comments

I took a trip down memory lane and decided to reread all of the little things we were able to collect on PACE.  Apparently, I was (am?) that nice.  People really seemed to genuinely like me.  I can feel them changing their mind though.  Hahaha.

One of the notes read, "Your CONGRATULATIONS! never fail to lift my spirits and boost my confidence."  Looking back, I don’t know why I stopped saying that.  It used to make me feel better too.  I don’t remember when was the last time I said it.  In one of my old notes, it read that the phrase made me feel like I am cheering my peers on, and that in turn, I cheer myself on.  It gave the much needed boost and laughter that most of us tend to forget, especially when buried with inches  and inches of reading.

Somewhere along the way, I believe the word just lost its meaning and its effect on people.  It started to appear and sound shallow, and most of the time, quite undeserved, even if people refuse to admit it.  I think I still say that from time to time, but the lack of frequency showed just when it should be heard — when you actually worked hard for it.  

There are a lot of baby notes here.  One even thanked me for being a cheesy friend that never failed to make him happy and comfortable.  One thanked me for my ability to listen intently to their stories, encouraging them to speak more.  One thanked cigarettes (oh my I wonder who that is LOL) for giving us time to bond.  One flattered me the most:  that I am the glue that holds everyone together.  *insert tear here*

I think I’ve forgotten how well I was doing.  I think I got scared with the things I didn’t initially know, so it hampered my ability to absorb what was being taught.  I made myself weak because from the looks of it, I started strong.

So maybe, I should say CONGRATULATIONS more.


The cactus I got from Baguio after our PACE workshop.
Yes it is still very much alive.